Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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The Inlaws....

namaste02
namaste02
So, almost 2 weeks ago my ex husband called me in the middle of my work day. He is currently deployed in the middle east...and we have not spoken to each other in 6 months. This is typical, we live in different states, he has little to no communication with our son, by his choice, and he is just plain old mean and nasty to me. Now, this part of it, I will never understand, because he was the one who chose to end the marriage. When he called that day he ended the conversation (which was surprisingly pleasant) with "I love you" before he hung up.... WTF?? I let that one go.

Anyways..that is all behind me..he has been gone now for almost 5 years and I have healed from the fallout.

And then today.....

His Aunt, whom I had a close relationship to once upon a time, calls me this morning. I have not spoken to her in 4 YEARS....and she calls me out of the blue today??!! Talked my ear off for 2 HOURS!!

This is all strange....first him...and now her.

Does anyone stay in touch with the inlaws? How do you do this? i dont have anything against these people, but I dont trust them either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, if you can't trust them, you are going to have to keep them at arm's length. sounds like fate is testing your resolve.

btw, i have no contact with any of them, but, if they called and needed my help, i would try to be there for them in a cautious way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would like to ship mine off to the nastiest place on earty. Just to let you know grandparents have rights too just like parents. Just be careful.
MsBlank1
MsBlank1
I wish I could be of more help here :(
When I divorced my ex, I divorced his toxic family as well. So far all is quiet, but thought I would get an arugument from them as well because I got the family properties in the divorce. I don't do facebook as most of them frequent those places and I don't want them lurking in my life or business. I don't think I'd answer my phone or door if they happened to "drop in" because there is nothing left to say (they all were very abusive to me and feel they have done nothing wrong). I highly doubt they would call to apologize....it isn't in their vocabulary....blech.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I do not ...if he invites them to a school event then I will see them but they can contact him not me.We just broke up and its all new but my inlaws irritate me and i won't miss dealing with them!
KRKing911
KRKing911
I love my family in-law. It's my hope that we still have the same kind of relationship after all this is said and done.

Perhaps she just missed you. Like he appears to miss you. People have affects on other peoples lives. You were part of theirs, and made an impression. (((Hugs)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I *really* miss my mother-in-law. She was less like a MIL to me and more like a good friend. Of course, I'm no-contacting now since it would be too difficult otherwise. It really makes me sad, though. Not only did he take away himself and our marriage, he took away friends and my MIL, and will be taking the cats...
(Sorry for the sob story.)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I talk to my ex in-laws when I will be in town with my son, since they are his grandparents (all of our family, both sides, are in NY and we are in NC), but other than that, I don't talk to them at all. It's been awesome, really. They aren't bad people (well, his sister is a b*tch), but they aren't people I want in my life for me. If I didn't have a kid, I wouldn't talk to them or my EX ever, and really, none of these are bad people...I would rather just hang it up, get on with my life, and bookmark them in my past.
Any interaction we have to have, which has been once since last summer, it was pleasant. The whole year my EX and I were separated, my ex mil didn't call me once; nothing. Not to see how I was, nothing. Then, she's nice-nice when I do my yearly trip to NY with my son over the summer. Oh well, it's for my son's sake. For me? I could leave em and never look back.
KRKing911
KRKing911
Kp, it doesn't have to be like that forever. no contact means him - not his family. Just don't talk about what's going on between you - leave all of that out when you talk to her. (((Hugs))) to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like maybe he realizes he still has feelings for you? And his aunt is calling because maybe he confided in her and she's helping him to make you feel comfortable with it all? I don't just a thought.

Or is there anything you may be tied to him regarding money? Maybe there is that too and he now needs to be nice in order to get what he wants. Just a few suggestions there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
KRK--if I were staying in this country, I probably would try to keep a relationship with her... she is a wonderful person. However--sometime in the next 6 to 18 months--I plan to move back to my home country. I don't want to get through the divorce and keep the friendship alive and then have it killed by me moving overseas... that would be like losing her twice.
:(
KRKing911
KRKing911
namaste - I fully understand (((Hugs))) good luck in your move.
patti22
patti22
Nope, they've never talked to me since my ex left.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, I still remain in contact with my in laws. They are good people and I have nothing against them only their son. :o) Topic usually doesn't include the X just mostly centers around their grandson/my son. I do however don't divuldge any information about what I'm going through.
jarrettg
jarrettg
I kept in touch with a couple of my ex-inlaws but after a while there just wasn't anything in common anymore so we just let the calls slide less often. Just be careful that this person isn't trying to dig for info from you. Also having also served in the Military, being in combat can change your perspective alot. The fact he is being nice ....take it with a grain of salt....I keep the now out laws at a distance ...expecially since I am no longer related to them. I had my ex call one time and gave me a ragging for talking to "her people" so I dropped it. Just be happy and enjoy your son!
Peace be with you!
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