Hi,
I'm "lucky". My wife and I are going to work to get the bills under control. Then she can go to hell lol.

how expensive is it going to be when you go crazy from this all?

I won't go crazy. I won't let myself go crazy. It's just difficult.

see... the problem is, is that the required parts of your brain to KEEP you from going crazy, are the first to go... and others will attest to you showing signs already by your posts (it's hard to tell, with the masking by humor aspect)
But I think everybody is worried about you.
Rman, seriously, moving out is not that bad. It's not.

I don't have the money to move out. That is the problem.

but is the reason you don't have the money b/c you are supporting HER household? (I'm assuming she would stay there)
if you cut her off from the funding, what will happen?

I got cleaned out, about to file for bankruptcy, what was suppose to be an amicable dicorce turned into a nightmare, and just so happened when the divorce was at its latter stages the school I worked for moved and I was without a job so couldn't afford an attorney :(

I'm thriving. I made a financial oopsie this week but, I'll be okay tomorrow.

My ex and I made a hefty living with our combined incomes. I have a nest egg saved up for a rainy day since he is gone. He is broke. Some of his problems stem from him moving and not being able to sell his house but, he has always been irresponsible with his finances.

I have a friend whose stbx spends the money before it's earned and they play 'catch up' with the earnings which is eaten up by overdraft fees.

If I can't afford things. I wait.

It depends on your current assets and liability.

Basically it is a simple add and subtract approach:

1- get paper and pen
2- make a list of all your monthly expenses to the dot: utilities, food, rent or mortgage, auto, clothing and other children expenses, credit card bills, etc.
3 -Add them up.
4- write down all you make after taxes and add them up.
5- Subtract what you spend by what you make.

Then, start cutting from the portion of what you spend all that you can live without.

Questions to help out here: does your family live close to you? Parents, sibblings, cousins? They could chip in with baby sitting...

Stay home moms are great when both of you can afford. Doesn't seem to be the case for you, apparently. Is your wife healthy enough to work? If yes, than this is a must.

After the divorce, depending on how well you took care of your finances, there should be an immeidate hurt but little by little you will emerge bigger and better because most who struggle together find strength from being alone and getting another chance.

Rman - Take CMondo's advice

Very wise and logical steps to a real solution

We want to save your sanity and health - this is really doing a number on you.

I agree with cmondo, start by making a list. You need to know exactly what you are dealing with.

I had to restart from scratch. I filed for bankruptcy six months after he left. Best thing I ever did to restart. Hated to, but couldn't live with his gambling debts.

You will find a way to make it. I just filed after 2.5 years because I was also afraid. I think our health is more important, though.

I hesitate to tell you considering your situation, but it is what it is.

My divorce is not final so I don't know the final result, but I do know that it will affect me tremendously at the least over the next few years. Day care costs are through the roof. I actually work in accounting/finance so I'm good with budgets, numbers, etc, but I still find it very scary. The thing is though....and I think you will feel the same way. YOU will control your own finances....and that is HUGE thing. You will decide what and how much to spend. But bottom line...I know I will recover from it and ultimately I am better off.

I hope that answers your question or gives you insight to things.

I have done the writing it down thing and discovered that I make $75 less a month than I need for my bills. That's not even including groceries, diapers, gas, etc. I haven't received anything from my stbx. He quit his job, has moved in with his dad, and is now checking himself into a mental hospital (good for him, financially crappy for me). I am also stuck paying his car payment and insurance since that's in my name. If I cancel the phone, internet, and cable, then that will leave me $95 a month for groceries, diapers, gas, doctor visits, etc. Not sure what to do. Thinking about selling my plasma (blood, not tv lol).

I wonder how many people actually believe what their ex's tell them about their finances....

I used to handle the finances at home....when I left, we both had nice savings....now, I don't care. Mancub gets his support automatically. *shrugs*