Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi! First post here.
I'm a 50 year old male who is really struggling lately. Less than 10 days ago a 20 month long relationship came to an end and I didn't see it coming.
At the start of our relationship she told me that she struggled with the idea as to whether she had the time and if she wanted to commit to a relationship. She figured she'd give it a go though.
We started out real slow as she stated that this was what she needed.
We had great chemistry, never had even a single fight. Very honest relationship with lots of laughs and good memories.
She told me I was everything she was looking for in a man.
A year into the relationship she told me she felt like she was starting to pull away. She felt torn between focusing on herself (she's extremely independent which is very important to her) and also focusing on her 2 kids ages 9 and 14 and also giving enough to a relationship.
We talked about this but decided to continue dating. Things seemed pretty good at least to me. The last month or so I started to hear from her a little less.
Then 3 or 4 weeks ago we went out to dinner and she told me that moving forward didn't feel natural to her. She said she didn't have romantic feelings for me anymore.
She says she cares for me and wants to be in my life but not the way my heart wants.
A lot of her messages were confusing and I saught clarity 9 days ago and basically it's over but wants to keep in touch.
I feel blindsided and I'm still in shock that it has ended. The last 11 years of my life have been very hard. My wife of 12 years and the mother of our 2 teen sons left me.
That was followed by a 2.5 year toxic relationship I had with a woman I met two years after my marriage ended and that relationship really messed with my head.
I took 4 years away from dating and only decided to put myself out there because of the urging of my youngest son and my ex wife.
This is when I met my most recent ex. After my marriage ended i suffered a severe major depressive episode that lasted 9 months and I had to get professional help for.
I can't make any sence of my life anymore. So much heartache and loss and pain. I feel so lost and alone. I have no friends and I've been off work for 5 weeks because of a serious spinal issue.
I miss my last girlfriend terribly but I told her I couldn't continue to corospond with her because it hurt too much. I said I loved her but had to say goodbye.
She told me that if and when in the future I wanted to talk that she would be there for me.
Too much time on my hands. Cant get her out of my head. Emotions all over the place. Even cried 3 times lately and I'm not someone who cries.
Really hurting!
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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You have to deal with the pain, it hurts and it should, but allow yourself the pain and hurt.
Take to heart the fact that a relationship that was not going to go anywhere ended.
Be smart do 90 days no contact, let the pain heal.
Allow yourself time to cry, time to hurt, time to think about how you feel.
Then get in gear and put yourself on a track of healing.
Be the man you need to be or want to be.
Continue to daily blog, and journal about your healing process.
It will help others to read about your success.
I had to realize that I was/am a whole person - despite the breakup. After some time - I took the energy I was putting into feeling miserable and put it into loving and serving others. I started greeting people on the street and elsewhere. Just saying Hi to them. Nothing too bizarre. I realized how people need that - I need that too!
I also ended up joining a 45+ singles ministry at a local church. That was amazing. Great fellowship and discussion time with like minded singles. I realized there was a lot of single people out there. People having fun and enjoying this world that God gave us. We would also pray for each other - that was a great help.
I also like listening to the Danny Gokey song "The Comeback".
Prayers for you my friend to get back to finding what inspires your life!
And, I disagree with what you wrote, that you - "didn't see this coming." It sounds like she said from the beginning that she was reluctant to be in a relationship, and then it happened again one year into it..... The reason I am bringing this up is not to cause more hurt, I just want you to realize that this pairing was probably not going to last, and she basically said that from the beginning. It would have ended sooner or later. Maybe the next woman you meet, you could see if she is on the same page as you... not like this one, that you have to "convince" to get in a relationship with. Plenty of women out there that want a long term relationship! Best wishes and good luck! You are going to be fine!