Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Split custody???

itsecbosslady
itsecbosslady

Hi all.  My first post here and i am new to support groups but i need to talk to someone before i lose my mind.  Six months ago i caught my husband of 15 years in an online affair.  It was pretty bad.  He was chatting with her on the phone while i was sleeping right next to him.   Because we have two girls, 5 and 12, i stayed.  I really did not want to destroy their world.  But i find there is no repairing the damage.  I cant seem to forgive him and it is toxic for the both of us.   He wants split custody of the girls.   I know it is for the best but i can not bear the thought of not seeing my girls for half their lives.  I cant stay with him but the alternative is to lose the two people i care most about in life.    How do you cope with this????

OlderCPer
OlderCPer
It's great if y'all can work it out between you, that's the best way. I'd been married for 25 yrs when we got divorced, our youngest was only 11, so we had 50/50 custody issues to deal with for him. And although my ex was not good husband material he was a great dad and loved his sons, our oldest was 18. We worked through everything easily with no problems....until he remarried, Then his new wife just made everything hell from that point on. So I had to get a custody schedule on a calendar just with a Court Mediator each year, just because of her crap, but we never drug anything through Court. By the time my son was 16 he was so busy with school, football, pt job, we let him set his own schedule, and me nor his dad saw much of him.

I hope that things go well for you and your kids dad and you'll be able to keep things between the 2 of you, it definitely makes things much easier on all parties.
bridgie101
bridgie101
Too much to read above but have to say if you can't rear them together you have to rear them in sequence. They need their father as much as you, and so you just have to suck up the alone time.

You will find you develop as a person because of it. You may realise you had something missing before.

One thing is for sure they will grow up and leave home and you will need something else going on in your life at some point so you may as well start now.
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