Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I wake up every morning wishing I could hate her for making me feel this way, but I cant. All I feel is hurt, hurt and more hurt. Everything I hold dear is being torn apart and I cant handle it. Im tired of just walking through my day like a zombie just trying not to cry in front of my coworkers and kids. Ocasionaly I can get angry and think Im better off without her, but those feelings never last long enough. I feel like a fool for caring so much about someone who doesn't even want to be around me. When we talk she uses the phrase"right now" a lot which gives me seemingly false hope that things will be bettet one day. Im just not sure I can hang on long enough to see it through. Ive seen it written that it can three years to feel normal again. Sometimes I feel like I cant go three minutes more in this amount of pain. I really dont think I would ever hurt myself because I know the pain it would leave my children with. She seems to think they wont be affected by this at all, so I need to remain strong for them because I know they will be devastated! This is going to be the longest most painfully frustrating experience of my life. Im going to talk to her about seperating instead of divorce for a while to give us an honest try at working out our own issues and fixing our broken marriage. Im really afraid that I will hear a response that Im dreading because I know whst it means. She has a male "friend" with whom she has been spending an increasing amount of time "working" with. My gut tells me that she would never cheat on me and I know him too and dont think he would do that either, but everything else screams affair. If there is an affair going on they are doing a terrible job of hiding it. So if she refuses to just seperate I will know its because she's all set to move on with another man and dosent want to be tied down anymore. How can two peolpe be going through the same situation with such polar opposite emotions? This is just terrible!
After 22 years of marriage ~ good times & bad, 15 days after returning from a vacation we'd planned for a year, I found out he was having an emotional affair....With an ex girlfriend from 25 years ago/military that he was put in contact with while we were on vacation.
i have been devastated! I didn't see it coming at all &!if he had told me he was unhappy, I would have done anything to save my marriage!
He moved out, and I'm stuck behind these walls that we called a home---moving soon, but still here now. Some days I wallow and cry and feel sorry for myself because "obviously I am such a horrible person that my spouse would leave me for another woman," but then I have good moments...like today when I told him he could take the divorce papers with him when he goes to California this weekend to see her and they could read them together!
That's right! Papers aren't even filed & he's already all in with her!!
Here's what I am going to do for myself and I can only hope that you will someday (sooner than later) do also;
ACCEPT THAT THE DREAM OF WHAT YOU THOUGHT WOULD BE (forever, right?) isn't what it's really going to be.
Heal yourself! Work any you & push yourself to be who your children would want to be. Show them what strength looks like.
And however many years down the road it takes, she will still be trying to figure out why all her relationships have failed her and you'll have become a new man and have moved on with your life.
When those days come that you just can't stop crying or spinning or walking in circles, and you know they will, even months/years from now, STOP and think back and ask yourself "We're you really all that happy too?" I bet not.
I bet you're going to cross paths with someone someday that is really and truly meant for you.
You should never be a second choice! And Remember, we teach people how to treat us and if you keep waiting for her "to come around," she WILL continue to do this to you.
Just Breathe!!!!! You will find your way & when you do, you'll be happier and your children will be ok.
Good luck with everything and don't forget to take care of yourself!!!