wondering what stopped you both from getting married when little girl arrived...maybe she is tired of waiting?

If you have an emotionally checked out spouse/partner
they are Usually Just done. They disconnected from you
and the relationship. Often the disconnect Comes first then
the straying or looking comes later. You probably Won't Get
much Real honesty. And if she refuses couples Counseling
that means she does not want to try to work on things.

My ex and i went to MC even though it did no good and he
would not be honest. He just pretended to try to look Good
to others. First time he was called on a Behavior he was
insulted and he was done.

If she is talking of buying another home i would think About
Coparenting planning only. Try to limit any contact with her,
Keep it to the business at hand like Child Care concerns or
the Household. Try to just text or email no phone calls if at
all Possible.

Therapy at this time would help a lot and joining a breakup
or divorce care Group, the grieving can be pretty intense.
Being in Limbo Is a very bad, sad and hard place to sit in. It
was better after he left, it was lonelier with him there when
He just wanted out, the feelings of rejection were constant.

Keep posting on here it helps to vent and to share on others
Post. We are all at different stages and the emotional roller
Coaster is not much fun to be on, HUGS

We were both married previously. We talked about waiting to get married until we built our family. Talked about a new house together. She asked me about counselling almost three years ago and things got better......now it got worse. She does not want to go to counselling....well at least for right now. Dropped the bombshell on her today that I was not paying for all of the daycare anymore like I was. I pay for the mortgage and all of the daycare....have a second job because of it.....got a denial reaction out of her today.....sorta ruined her food day i think. I believe she was out lookong for a house during the day. I don't think she can afford a house on her own because of the cost of daycare now.. I want the best for my daughter but need to make sure I don't overwork myself anymore if she does not appreciate what I have done for the family. I don't think she is done waiting.....she is just unhappy all of the sudden about everything....everything is negative.

Have you had any consult with an attorney? If she can't afford a place to live and you're the sole provider I would consider a substantial amount of custody or she's going to railroad you into some crazy child support and depending on the state and or judge maybe even some kind of maintenance. If she's checked out she's going to go full guns on protecting her financial future. Sorry about the pain, it sucks.

I'm currently going through a situation where I've told my husband I want a divorce and he is angry and upset, he doesn't understand. The thing is that I've been trying to work on things for years but I've grown and am a different person. Sometimes two people simply grow apart. Like you, we have a 2 year old and I am paying all daycare and healthcare costs. I think it's smart for you to bring up splitting expenses because if she wants to leave, you will need to talk about that and she needs to know upfront what she's responsible for. My biggest struggle is my husband wasn't working so I feel awkward asking for help now when he only has a part time job. I'm just glad he's not living here anymore, I can't imagine how uncomfortable you are. I'm glad you shared and I hope things get a little easier every day.

sadly, you are right about finances, money is a killer to relationships. Perhaps you could check out online steps to take care of yourself financially while divorcing...custody, alimony, child care....if you work two jobs, that will all be considered in child support amount...as well as medical, dental etc. Don't know if you would consider joint custody...might be an avenue to look into...being extra gentle with all concerned, especially your daughter....kids can really pick up emotions~~Best of luck!

She has a full time job and a part time job selling clothes on the side. I make a little more than her but not much. In the state of Wisconsin as long as we share custody child support may be non existent. Max could be 17 percent but that includes the cost of daycare so if she decided to do that I could end up paying less than i am already. I told her I don't want her to leave but she is saying the trust is broken. The only reason I caught her talking to this other guy is because I set up audio recording in the house.....im the bad guy for doing that..not the other way around.. go figure. She took it a little further by talking to him while she was in bed. I confronted her and had to tell her how I found out.. of course I'm the bad guy but I had an idea that something was going on and she wouldn't tell me so I found out my own way. I'm willing to work on things but she says that we have to start over which includes her moving out. Seems like a cop out because she is just done but she keeps playing me along... when I look back it feels like I have been used for a long time....really sucks. Wish things were different.

Forgot to mention that she did this same thing ehen she left her husband 9 years ago. It was for her own selfish reasons because she was not happy. Same situation here but now with a family involved. By the way the guy she is talking to is a total home wrecker and does not help the situation. I beleikev he is just off a divorce.....sorta like how I was when I first started dating her....feels like she is replaying this whole scenario over again to the t.

unfortunately some people do/make choices/decisions (mistakes) multiple times before they learn the lesson....don't see why you are getting dumped on if you suspected something...bad guy? to put blame on you and not facing up to her self-responsibility for what she did....anger has a multitude of purposes...

Sad part about is that I am a very nice person. I already told her I forgave her for what happened and am trying to fix things. Nice guys finish last.

Why, did you guys both not get remarried to eachother? Wow, she's replaying the same thing she did with you 9 years ago?

How did you fall in love with her so fast after your divorce? She obviously seems to have this thing down to a t, like damn. Its ridiculous. However, thank God your still very young, you do have a future ahead of yourself. It will make her second think if you stop caring about her looking for a home without you, and making her pay for the daycare. She'll be like, what's gotten into him, plus your a heart thob, you'll be OK! You seem very supportive as I've seen your other responses on here!

This thing it pretty interesting if I don't say so myself! But yeah first step, hey let her look for a home. Second step make her pay for the daycare. Third, act a little, not very, distant! Hit the gym.

Oh and the home wrecker of a man! If he really cared he'd be offering her to move in with him. Instead he's letting her look for her own place. He's more like a jerk! So, don't feed his ego either. Do not bring him up to her again EVER! She tells him I bet, even though you do care you're going to have to pretend, for the sake of your relationship that you don't care about meathead. That will deflat his ego.

You did nothing wrong. She's playing a manipulative game here. Move on. Nice guys finish last when they stick to others that don't take responsibility for their turd actions. Remember, she's cheating on you and your kid. That's pretty thoughtless.

You'll find someone. You know how I know? Because you'll reach out to find support. That will help get over her quicker than if you didn't, and it means you're not allowing yourself to bottle it up and scar you for the future. Keep your chin up. Insist on staying in your kid's life (fight like hell for custody). Custody not to hurt your ex, but instead to ensure you don't lose both connections.

Last night I told myself since she doesn't seem to appreciate anything I do anyways that she can do her own laundry and her own dishes. I already do all of these things on top of all of the other house work.....cutting the grass, vaccuming, dusting...the list keeps going. Her excuse is that this is my house...yes it is but it is our home. We were working towards getting a home together but of course right now that is on standby. She helps from time to time with the dishes but things pile up. Right now she pays the electric bill, cell bill and internet bill. Comes to about $350 or so. She does pay for my daughters insurance. I do not make her pay me any rent. If she wants to start a fight about having to pay daycare now she can start paying rent. I pay the mortgage and insurance...car and home..... so it is not exactly even by a long shot. I gave her the easy street....looking back maybe I shouldn't have. I let her use my extra room in my rec room that was my office for storage for her business...maybe she should be paying for that too. Just too nice all around. I'm keeping my head up high. Talking with one of my buddies at work helped yesterday. Just need to get over the hump that I don't necessarily need her as much as I want to work things out. I will fight for my daughter until I have nothing left if she even tries to do anything in that situation. She started to tell me that things that happened 9 years ago started our undoing and the only reason she stayed was because she was comfortable. Total BS. We did everything together when we first starting dating and everything was awesome.....things just unraveled as the years went on. I don't think that she understands that this is our life now.....we have responsibilities but still have time for life with each other and love. I will probably go into detail about the unraveling mention but I'm just starting my day at work.

I understand it feels very rough now - just had to tell my husband that our relationship was over- Constant negativity along with blaming other people - never happy with how things were. Always creating drama. I had to end it. Figured out what the positives and negatives were to continuing it. negatives won out over a 10 year period. Its not that simple alot of build up happened to get to that. Eventually though, it will where on you and your child will pick up on it. Only you know what your heart feels.

My husband of 24 years became more and more unhappy, with everything. The more women he talked to online the more I lacked in some way. I've tried, but I'm done. And he blames me for the breakup. Tells everybody that I just want to be single. I think they convince themselves that they're unhappy so they can justify what they're doing. It does suck!!