well i sure do miss the touching and intamacy, and like you, i just could never get into casual nights. as you, i'm accepting where i am, and being totally grateful for what i have, i try to just get through the feelings as they come. it's hard, but where i am and am going it will be worth everything i have to go through to get there. and you know, even if it means i'll be alone for the rest of my life, as long as i'm ok with me, that will be allright. i trust God will lead me exactly where he wants me and with whom he wants me with. i'm more relaxing letting him lead me, and just watching what my life brings me.

I think when we were younger, before our long term committed relationships, we were better able to get over things and move on. You remember those days right? Broke up with a girl and began seeing another one not too long after. I did with boys at least. Well now we have to heal and get over the loss before we can move on. I think it's normal to NOT want to rush into a relationship after being hurt badly, but there are things we miss from that relationship.

Physical intimacy is something that I think we all miss, even if it wasn't very good; it was at least a warm body next to us and comfort when we needed it.. I truly don't know the answer to this one, as it is one that I struggle with as I am sure that many of us do.. I will look forward to the answers and in asking the question, may it help all of us to gain some insight... Kimmee

I'm the same way. I can't just go out there and have a casual relationship with someone. That person must mean something to me. And besides at this point it would probably hurt me more than anything else. Perhaps it's too high of a standard, but emotions for me are important. I miss intimacy as well, but I would say I miss the affective part of the sexual relation even more - the emotions linked to touching. I don't know that it makes sense to anyone? Again, I'm a very sensuous person and I would frankly settle for snuggling right now, if I could.

I miss the conversation myself. Physical intimacy? Not even close. I actually have to like somebody first. Sad huh?

I miss the intimacy. Not just the sex, but the kissing, the hugging, the holding hands.

My stbx wasnt good at any of those things. So ive been without much of it for a long time.

The one thing I really look forward to is finding someone who is more in touch with their intimacy and likes to make out on the couch and actually snuggle!!

I snuggle with my daughter....not quite the same thing :)

I think guys are hard-wired for sex much more so than women which makes it VERY difficult to not want to hook up with someone.

Yet for me, what I really crave is the physical touch. Things like holding hands, sitting on a couch together, taps on the shoulder and other parts of the body. It was something my wife wasn't desirous of. In fact, I remember very clearly talking to her about it. I told her that I am a very touchy kind of guy and that I craved touches of affection. She turns to me (I kid you not) and said, "Well, I'm not that kind of person so get over it." That was while we were still married!

But in the end, hopping in bed with someone for the sex doesn't solve anything. And after the feelings of euphoria are gone, you're stuck there with someone you more than likely don't care about or love. Then it becomes nothing more than some base act that some of the lowest of animals engage in.

Now that I've made that all so attractive to y'all, think I'll go grab a cold shower! :)

Mark

Sense I have no desire what so ever to get into any relationships for a very long time , I plan to go to a spa once a week for a long massage, facial, and other things such as a hot tub or w/e. I'm hoping this will help nurture my body and help fullful the need for being touched. a t least thats my current plan...

I really miss intimacy. It's always so hard for me to not have someone around all the time that I can just wrap my arms around. And as for sex, I could never have a casual sex encounter.

After reading Mark's answer, I need to take a cold shower too and I'm not even a guy...LOL!!!

Absolutely. I have only ever been with my stbx because sex was never a casual thing for me... but lately, I have been having fantasies of lashing out sexually. I won't act on them as he eventually will, but I have thought about what a slap in the face it would be for him if he knew that I could up and be with others right away (especially since he was my first). In the end, though, it would just hurt me.

I COULD go for some platonic cuddling/spooning though. I would love for someone to hold me when I sleep, or for me to hold them.

Funny thing; I am a very sexual person. I have always had the belief that sex could cure the common cold. But, now, lately I have been willing to fore go sex for intimacy. I have to be careful when people hug me, as acquaintenaces tend to do. What I wouldn't give for an embrace that will allow me to not have to stand so tall. An embrace that fills me with the security that if my legs just happen to give out on me just a little bit, I won't fall to the ground.

I am currently on the search for someone who can do this for me simply as a favor. Maybe lay with me at night until I go to sleep.

I crave that intimacy too. That feeling you have when you're sharing things with someone who just gets you. That warmth that floods you when you're in their arms and you can just exhale. Sometimes it feels like I'm holding my breath as I move through the day. I'm not consciously looking for anything but yeah, I want it in my life again.

Not sex...sex is easy. I could have sex if I wanted. It's that deeper intimate connection that I miss.

I agree wiht most about the sexual contact, I only miss in the context of being held emotionally. I do miss the touching and handholding.