So sorry you are going through this. You will have your daughter for your whole lifetime. She will not resent you in any way. If you got out of an unhealthy marriage, then you already are giving her a huge gift. The child visitations can be worked out. You can go through your lawyer if you don't like what you ex husband is trying to set up with visitation. You do have control. You are strong.

It's a lot of stuff you're going through to process right now, but you and your daughter will be fine and you two will have a great relationship, always!

Take time now to concentrate on taking care of yourself now. Stay strong and keep working on yourself.

As someone who has gone through this I will not sugar coat it. It's going to be very very hard at first and then like a lot of other things in life it will get easier. The first weekends your daughter is away will be very tough. Try to use them for self-care time or make sure you are busy with friends. It will get better though and you'll find that the time you are together will be more meaningful. Your daughter will not resent you. Kids understand way more than we give them credit for. My kids realized how miserable their dad and I were together and even though it was painful and a major adjustment they were happier in the end because their parents were happier. One piece of advice on keeping your relationship good with your daughter is to never bad mouth the other parent. No matter what the other parent says or does they are still someone your child loves and it hurts them if we talk bad about that person. I am not saying you'd do this and don't know the character of your ex but mine made it nearly impossible at times for me to do this. Another thing to remember is that birthdays and holidays can occur no matter what the date is. What I mean is that if your daughter is scheduled to be with your ex for a holiday or her birthday, I know it will hurt and be hard but you'll find that you can still have a magical 2nd Christmas or birthday with her. Holidays and birthdays were really hard for me. It took me 3 years to be where they weren't devastating but it honestly does get better. I hope you and your ex can come up with an agreeable custody schedule and that you have a relationship where it can be flexible. Sometimes things occur on the other parents time, and it is kind to be willing to exchange weekends. A final piece of advice is to find a good family therapist that you and your daughter can see together. It will be very important for her to feel comfortable for her to express her feelings throughout this process and it's good to have some guidance on how to listen and talk to her. I can already tell how much you love her so just continue to love her. Make sure she feels heard and reinforce that she had nothing to do with the divorce. Kids often feel like they must have done something to cause the divorce or that they could've prevented it, even when the parents tell them that's not the case so just keep telling her over and over again. Another thing that my youngest needed was a photo of each parent at the other parent's house. My daughter said she needed to see both of us to fall asleep at night. I'm not sure how old your daughter is but journaling was also very helpful for my kids. They had a private journal and a mommy and me journal where we would write things back and forth that we might not feel comfortable talking about. Lifting your child up will lift you up too! Hang in there it's going to be a bumpy ride but you will succeed.

BkindBthoughtful said it all. It is hard, be ready for the emotional roller coaster ride of a lifetime. But when that roller coaster stops, life will be whatever you want it to be. No contact is the key, unless it involves kids, do not follow him on any social media. Take as much as "me time" as you need.. You will be fine. You will flourish too. Hugs.

I am so sorry! I know what it's like to go through a divorce and to have to share time with the father. I feel like I missed years of my daughter's life too. But, you know what, the more I communicated with her and loved her, our relationship is so close and has continued to grow over the years. This is a very hard time, but, you will get through it. And, even if your daughter goes through a time of being angry at you, it will pass. Just keep loving her no matter what. I know that probably doesn't make you feel much better, but I am praying that it gives you hope. Be steadfast about growing and maintaining a healthy relationship with her and she will respect you for that. Praying for you... and sending big HUGS!!!

Laura,
I am so proud of you for making the move! Honestly the lifestyle change, even though we live pretty average, is what I fear. I way out the fear versus the unhappiness and I guess the fear must outweigh most of the time.

Laura, I hope you are continuing to hang in there. I've been thinking of you. One more thing that I wanted to recommend that has been a very helpful tool for me is Our Family Wizard. It is a program that you and your ex use to send emails, keep track of expenses, post the custody schedule and is place to keep other important information such as your child's doctors, dentists, etc. My ex refused to pay his share of the expenses and didn't open or respond to the majority of the emails I sent and this program kept track of all of that and it does stand up in court. I hope you'll never need to use it for that purpose but it is a very good tool. It is not free but it has really been worth every penny for me. If you research it and think it will work for you, you can have it put in your parenting plan and therefore be required by the court for your ex to use. Before I got this my ex would often deny he got emails and would dispute the custody schedule. It seriously cut down on some of the headaches! Sending love and strength

The Talking Parent App is another helpful tool that is free for the basic package, so you don't have to pay for Family Wizard. I know that I was wondering how I would be the first couple of times I was without my child being with me for a weekend. I kept myself busy. I still miss my child, but I do make sure to keep busy with self time and activities.