Congratulations, you are doing great. That sounds normal. Maybe box up some or all of the stuff that reminds you of him that causes sadness, and that way you can look in the box only when you feel reminiscent, or just in a mood to look at that stuff. That way, it is not in your face every day. Gives you more control back too. It's going to take awhile to get over a 5 year relationship. I was in a 5 year serious engaged relationship, long ago, and I still think of him once in awhile, or something will remind me of him, someone has his same name, hear a song, etc., but it doesn't phase me or affect me in any way any more. As more time goes by, and you keep moving on with your life, and get into some new things that have nothing to do with him, the pain will be lesser. Promise! :) You're doing great.

I agree with GirlinCalif, you are doing great and it's normal. The sadness will go away. You'll like those things again. It's still just part of the grieving. My head doctor told me to face it and than it will be over (I couldn't listen to the radio)

Hey guys, thanks so much for the advice and motivation! Tonight’s a little not so great for me, but it is a relief to hear from people and be reminded that I am not alone and can move on one day. Guess I will box these things up for now.

I dont think I have much advise but I can share in your pain.
I was in a codependent for 18 years . It ended though me becoming a terrible drunk,with Early onset Parkinson's, and me cheating. To top that, the final straw came with me physically abusing her. It was the lowest day of my life; I had never done before. Yes, she has faults, but she is the kindest, sweetest, most gentle person you ever wish. And I am this muscular very physically capable. I was mortified with despair. I never went back home ,quit (got fired) my job and shortly thereafter walked out to the woods with a rifle in order end it, but got so damn drunk I misplaced the weapon and then got arrested. And that's only the half of it.

The pain and self loathing have been it incredible. I have seen what a personal
hell can be like.

I was washing the dishes just the other day and saw two tea cups that we had bought together. I was subsequently overtaken with the greatest of shame and guilt. OMG!

But "it" does get better. And it has.
And although you might have alredy experienced this truth (but) a very special friend explained to me; that healing goes waves . Often it comes very unexpectedly. I believe this to be true.
My Ex and I are talking again. How she has forgiven is amazing. Forgiving myself is causing me to grow. I believe I actually see my growth. And It's as though, in my imagination, I "signed on" for this pain. I somehow accepted these difficult inner steps. Because they show me so much.
And I like and want they show. And the humiliation, the humility I really need.
And how! (Hehe)

It was February and me and my now ex wife of 22 years went furniture shopping we purchased $3500 worth of furniture. It took us whole day to decide measuring going back to the store pickimg out colors it was a major purchase. Two months later she left me for the second time. I was blindsided and I couldn't believe after spending a whole day together and going through every thing she would just up and leave
I still have the furniture and it's mine. It's one of the few things I still have. The point is it belongs to me now its not ours it's mine. It's a thing and it does not define me, it's her loss and I enjoy it. Every thing brings back memories a song a TV show but memories are the past and we have is the future.

Hey Today7. It was very big of you to share your story here and I thank you for that. I have to admit, I am not faultless in my own relationship - I was the toxic child in our child-parent dynamic. I think it's terrible for when we are hurt by our loved ones in a relationship, but it is an even worse pain to bear when we are the ones who inflict that hurt. You read to be in a much better place in life right now, and I hope you are - after all that you've been through, you deserve it!

And yes, I do think I am experiencing those waves. One day I am great and then the next I am not. But the downtime is getting lesser as time goes by, and in the very least I found hope in living. Thanks again for sharing!

Hey Lostinutah. I'm sorry that it had happened to you two times. I can only imagine how that feels as I've only gone through it once, but once is more than enough for me to handle. I love your words, "It's a thing and it does not define me, it's her loss and I enjoy it". I guess I am still pretty affected by these the sight of these things right now, but one day hopefully I can get to where you are at. Thanks for sharing!