Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Please talk some sense into me

brokenhearted704
brokenhearted704

Tomorrow marks the 2 month mark since I’ve spoken to my ex (next month would’ve been our year anniversary). I am STRUGGLING guys, and need some motivation please. I truly, truly, TRULY believe that this man is my soulmate, and I am in love with him. All of these feelings are becoming even more apparent now that my birthday is 2 weeks away and I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to say happy birthday on social media or via text. And if he does, what does it mean? And if he doesn’t, what does it mean? 


Has anyone ever had an ex come back after the no contact period? I’ve promised myself I will not initiate any contact with him.


And yes, I’ve been dating and working on myself and have been going to therapy to cope with the breakup. And 7 months later, I’m still just as in love with him as I was then. The pain has subsided but I still miss him terribly. Even though I saw him on a dating profile just last week and he’s lying about his name and age (something he did when we met and I stupidly ignored). Ugh. Why am I such a mess and why do I still give a damn about this guy?

Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
hugs my friend. You are at the starting gate. You need to step back and see him for what he really is. A narcissist. A pathological liar. Do you really want to live with such a man. Block him, delete him, do whatever you need to do to get him out of your life. Right now, I am on my way out, but I will answer any questions you have. I would run for the hills. I wish I did.
11Christmases
11Christmases
Congratulations on the two months. Try not to beat yourself up for taking a while to forget this person. As for "why am I such a mess", a lot of that is the withdrawal from the chemicals that flooded your brain while you were in the relationship. Dopamine, etc., just like a drug addiction. It's hard! I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. You are doing the right things, keeping busy, but could you perhaps try being even busier? Double-down on your efforts and reward yourself for each week and month you stick to no-contact. Besides dating and working on your social life, are there other things you could put more energy toward? Professional skills, getting a second job for extra money (and to meet people), working on fitness goals? One of the great things about being single is that we have more time at our discretion. You will get your confidence back. Trust in yourself.
MemphisWH
MemphisWH
Lets hope he some not hurt or inflict any pain by contacting you.
You are a healing creature.
You need to completely heal and see how valuable you are.
You need to ensure -you make sure he can not contact you.
Anything he says or does will to be to toy with you. TO keep you under his control and keep you from moving on.

Challenge yourself to do something new within the next thirty days and then do it, and once you have done it tell everyone you can but him...
tf17
tf17
I’ve been in several relationships where I absolutely never thought I’d get over him. One of them took 5 years to get over. I eventually did. They way I did was to meet someone new. The guy that helped me get over him was an amazing guy who as of a month ago is my ex. But that’s besides the point. It took me finding an amazing guy, for me to get over my ex. Also time. Being patient sucks and is hard, but just try your hardest. You’ll be okay, love
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Great job on the two months! See, you did make it... even though you thought you couldn't. Why not make plans now, with friends, family, co-workers... for your upcoming birthday? Do something fun, something YOU want to do! And as TF17 said, you will forget about this guy once you meet another guy and get into a (good, this time) relationship. For now, work on YOU. You got this! Happy early birthday.... make it a "new year" all about YOU :)
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • GreenEyes727

    Car Insurance Renewal

    Posted by: GreenEyes727
    Last Reply: GreenEyes727
    7
    I'm horrified!  I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000.  I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter.  I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change.  Now this!  I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000.  I guess I have to pay...
  • MelT2020

    Happy National Underwear Day - Aug 5th

    Posted by: MelT2020
    Last Reply: JazzyLady
    2