As so many others have said - it depends on the people.

I've never really cared what my partner made, nor have I used it as a basis of comparison against my own salary. However, it DOES set up a relatively new dynamic within relationships.

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya... "lemme esplain. No, lemme sum up".

If said partner is looking for "traditional" roles with me - he ain't gonna get it. I am independent, make my own money, do with it what I please and take care of myself (as Jenny said). It's not that I'm not willing to share - not at all, but if a man is looking for that "man of the house who makes the money" arrangement, that's not what I want or need. Not that there aren't things that I NEED from a partner, but I will not be beholden to him simply because I need him to put food in my mouth or a roof over my head. I can do that all by myself. The things that I DO need from a partner are probably more labor intensive than the traditional role... I need someone kind, compassionate, that is willing to be on the same page as me with regard to life, family, children. Someone that respects me as a woman, as a human being, my independence, my strengths and weaknesses. I know it sounds harsh, but if said man can't do that or at least try.... the rest of the stuff I can do myself, so.... what is a relationship then built on with a person that can't offer that?

As a female white collar professional, I absolutely think that there is a higher risk of relationship failure with a man who works in a profession with a lower education/income level.

My most significant relationships have always been with men who haven't been as educated or career oriented as I am. I always thought that we balanced each other well. But over time, making more money and being better educated than the men I've been with have caused huge problems. I don't think that these relationships CAN'T work, but it takes a very strong man who is very comfortable with himself to be able to handle it. For instance, when I had to travel for business, my husband would generally respond "good luck finding someone to watch [son] while you're gone" and then he'd call multiple times a day to check up on me. When I needed to work late, he'd accuse me of "kissing a**"

Up until my divorce, I never gave those things a second thought. Going forward, I don't think I'll ever date a man without a degree again.

what about the other way around? Can the old-fashioned relationship of a white collar professional male and a house wife work?

I think the old fashioned way can still work. Even though the feminist in me is loathe to admit it, I think that for most women, it doesn't bother them who makes more money or has more professional status.

My sister-in-law was a management level professional who is staying home with the kids right now while my white collar professional brother works. They have one of the happiest marriages that I've ever seen. She has taken to looking at managing the household as her "job" and approaches Mommy and Me classes with the same energy and vigor that she used to channel toward her career.

Yeah I can totally see how having kids would effect that. Heck, I WANT to be a stay-at-home mom when I have young kids. But what about later on? I'm assuming she would head back to work?

@ Dres, the "old fashioned" way can work fine, if the balance & respect is there, my wife hasn't worked since David was born, little part-time stuff here & there, she has always had final say-so on finanacials, me being the 'people-pleaser' & passive aggressive, never stepped up and said "we can't afford this" & royally screwed us... As long as communication is there, with respect, anything can work. She's going to be looking for a job soon & heading back to school. She was planning it late last year...now she'll be doing it 'alone'. Just don't wait too long, as the kids age.

Oh I was thinking of the "Other" professional woman...... I need a PRO....

on a serious note I think you see the pattern... not necessarily gender driven but by the personalities of the parties involved