Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Not sure what to put but I guess helpless and lost

Shannon24g
Shannon24g

So I'm not sure where to start I'm 24 and have a 4 year old daughter and have been with her father for 8 years almost 9 it's been a complete roller coaster of ups and downs and I've been through it all with him. I have been physically abused for years and mentally and emotional abused along with it and as I got older the financial abuse came with it. I grew up as a child watching my mom be abused but it's hard to explain why I now understand from my fathers point of view why it happened and as a victim of domestic violence I'm not saying at all that it is okay or excused I simply can understand but after so many years of pretty bad physical abuse the emotional pain became worse then any physical pain it's still something I'm struggling with to this day. I'm at a point in my life where I'm lost and I don't have anyone family or friends I can trust to turn to and I can't afford a therapist either so I'm hoping I can find some comfort or support I guess through something or anything that might help me online. I don't want to write a book even though I could but I can say my biggest thing is that my afraid and scare that my daughter will be effect in the same way that I was as a child and coming from a low class family and a mother who was and still is a drug addict and father who even though he worked 12 hours a day to provide for us is still a functioning alcoholic it's hard to now have the strength in emotional ways that I see my childhood is effecting me and my addiction I guess you can say to such a toxic relationship. I have put up and still do with so much from my daughters father but yet I still yearn for his little bit of what I think is love or affection to make me feel normal. Like I said I truly could write a book from 8 years with him and growing up as a child dealing with the same thing even though I was just a young teen when I got with him. If someone does read this I'm only asking for maybe guidance or a mutual understand or as hard as it is to say help so I can be strong for my baby girl and mental be the mother she needs. 

serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
While i was not physically abuse I was emotionally abused probably financially. I thrived on What was good vs the bad for years and years. We have 3 kids and the breakup got nearly physical. It's been a roller coaster that I take day by day...staying in abusive relationship is never best for kids. It's not easy to stay or leave but I now have peace even though every chance he gets he tries to destroy that.
jojored
jojored
There are all kinds of support services out there for women who suffer from abuse, and many many are free. I joined an organization (not abuse, but they do have services for abuse) for women in transition and it consisted mostly of women who were older than you (30s+) who were in need of assistance reentering the work force. Just being around other women who were in a similar place was so comforting. I took some of the classes that they offered and found a lot of benefit in a couple of the programs. Google in your area to see what's available to you. And your concern if valid, that you are continuing the patterns in your life that you learned as a child. There is absolutely no shame in reaching out for help, but you have to take that first step. You can!
mirandac
mirandac
You need to deal with your own deep wounds
and keep Your child safe.

There are womens shelters And womens aid to
help you get a plan. They also have one on one
therapy And Group therapy, Financial and legal
assistance.

There is always alanon/ CODA meetings they helped
Me a lot never had any physical abuse though.

I would post on the abuse forum too they are great
And they understand. None of this Stuff is simple or
Easy you need real help not hand holding. HUGS

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/physical-emotional-abuse
jaynib
jaynib
I'm sorry you have been abused but you do not have to be anymore and your daughter is not destined to be either. Please look for counseling and support group through churches in your area as they are free. Find what you need in a safe place. You must address these issues or they won't be resolved. Your daughter will see you OVERCOME those things and that will break the pattern so she won't repeat it. In the meantime, find the healing you need. Journal, pray, but please get support. We aren't meant to go through these things alone. Praying for you and hugs...
Nina1957
Nina1957
Run!!!!
Nina1957
Nina1957
No one can give it to you dear. Learn to love yourself. There is lots of free help out there. No one, I mean no one should put their hands on you. Please run. I started with a shelter. They helped me alot, and eventually felt better about myself. Don't let your daughter go through this. She will be just like you. Please run!!!!!
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