Hi Wiser ! I will not Call you older and you are 'Not' not-wise as you understand the problem and are working to take care of it ! Joining DS & talking to all and confronting your feelings is the first step to start healing.
You will make it thro the day well. I am very sure.
For me being busy / speaking to friends / visting DS etc helps.

"Lonely," I think that is really impressive how you handled that phone call without getting pulled into his "stuff"! It sounds like you were really able to keep a sense of healthy detachment. Kudos to you!

"Wiser," I think I know what you mean about the music thing. My stbx(?) used to listen to tons of music together--all different types of music--and it was a big part of our relationship. Just about the only type of music that I liked and he didn't, was pop dance music--so for now, that's all I can listen to without being reminded of him. I'm starting to tire of it, but it's better than the pain I feel when I hear stuff that reminds me of him.

Thanks lonelygal.. You really did well handling all that. I'm not sure I could have. I definitely don't feel wiser, but soon we'll just be calling you gal :) You sound so much better. I'm hoping by next weekend I will, too. Weekends are awful. Hard to keep busy and I really don't like being home alone. Last weekend was my last try for contact. I haven't done anymore since then. I'm still wondering why and even thinking I know that it really wasn't "me" as "me" but me as in just not a match for him, it doesn't help yet. Soon :)
Thanks Metta... I haven't listened to music today and I haven't cried once :)

I feel much better today.
I just hope it is not for the wrong reasons - am I imagining he is missing me and is low without me ?
Happiness as per me should now not be linked to his actions , good , bad or ugly.

Day #5 : Failed i guess, he achieved what he wanted to by crying in front of me yesterday. I texted him on how he felt today and he thanked me saying my speaking to him really helped, he was miserable yesterday.
I do not think I will call but not sure if I will be able to ignore if he calls.
I wish I could just undo the past and just forget him.

Day #6 : so far so good, no urge to contact , blocked him from my FB chat etc, not 'unfriended' him yet, he is anyway not to active - does not post much and never anything personal so easier not to do any compulsive checking. I hope I will be able to unfriend him soon.
I have also decided I will try not to pick the phone if he calls.

why do i hope against hope that it's his text when my phone beeps.
It's just not healthy ! I have to give it up.
In a way I hope he never calls as I just end up getting upset, better this way.
But I am good with my resolve not to contact on my own.

not doing so good in the department. but eventually will.

Hi Lonely was just reading your post and this is something I really need to do . Heck I have even taken to sleeping with my phone just in case he should call . Maybe I'll change his ring tone to the one that I have for people that I really don't want to talk to and maybe I'll be able to ignore it when it rings . I've already unfriended him on my facebook page but sometimes I check on him . Guess I should just block him and get it over with . Stand fast on your decision to not contact him but remember if you happen to take a step backwards it doesn't mean that you failed it just means your human .

I broke all the rules of no contact but now again on the right track thank god

Thank you, need a lot of courage ... feel weak as of now

You can do it!!! I'm bad with no contact and now having been able to talk and come here it gets better!. One person told me yesterday if I think of contact like email or phoning call them or email them instead and not let her win by trying to contact her!

I am struggling with this right now. Just ended a two year relationship and right now all I can see is the rainbows and joy. I haven't yet been able to see the bad side. I try terribly hard not to send him anything or say anything but then I have a moment of weakness and he sends me the perfect reply. I don't get it.

I want to stay out of contact and I want to learn to break free and regain my own self.

lonely you are a true inspiration for me as well as all the people on this board. Seeing you take control and be able to make progress helps me realize I can do that too.

Tomorrow will be day one. Lets see how it goes.

Hi All,

I really struggled with this one a lot. But after all that I've been reading, it makes sense to me that going NC is not just to get over the other person, but importantly to allow the grieving process to unfold as it should.

It's been exactly one long and difficult week of NC for me. But coming here and getting & giving support helps. Keep-up the good work Lonelygal...

I understand how hard this is. Keep writing.