Thank you ! If I go 6 months with NC, I will get by.
Last was 4 months and then we got together again - for what I still question myself !

feel tempted, it's gonna be a long weekend !
holding off !

Good luck with the no contact thing. Im not doing very well at all with it!

Day #3 not too bad, no contact. hope it's the same next couple of days.
I had told him we are not meeting now, hope he does not ask me to, I do not think he will.
Last 4 months we met 3 times to be precise and less than 1 hr each time in public places - bumped into him in the most unexpected place once by mistake.

@ Dolly : it will get better, I feel horrible at times and reach out to text, then I stop myself, is this relationship worth wasting even a text over ? and then I just stop.
I try thinking of all the times he treated me bad, real bad !

think of it like a drug.. yeah.. you are craving the next hit.. sure.. you're addicted to the drug

but once you do you just feel worse, exposed/vulnerable, disappointed in yourself and back to square 1 in your recovery.

its not worth it. you want to text so that you can get a response. but he will NEVER be the man you want/need him to be. you will never get the validation that you need.

better off to text a friend of to write in your journal. hang in there

Yes Jenny , it is true.
I am venting it all here, and it really helps.
My friends (only 2 know the whole story) + his friend (he does not know his friend is speaking with me) all are dead against me contacting him after what he did to me.

Be strong! You can do it!

When the urge hits to text him, come and post here instead!

((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks KP, will do ! and it is heartening that you all read it and support me.

I'm rooting for you, lonelygal. I gave up after my last email went unanswered (along with other and phone call). Will be a week tomorrow. I'll keep looking at your posts. If you can do it, I can, too!
Hang in there! :)

Had real strong desire to text mine during work hours so couldn't journal or come to this site. I DID however go back to my list of "done me wrongs" and found one that made me lose the desire to call him. It IS getting easier. And congrats to you lonely....you are doing great!

Sure Older ! we are here to give each other support. I will certainly keep it posted

Thanks Harley ! you are all my inspiration to build me a better life

Good Morning Lonely.. (me too)... I'm awake and trying to plan my day. I decided that, even though I love music, I can't listen to it any more for awhile. Even at a dance recital, the songs just tore at me. Just a thought I'm sharing.
Mantra for the day... "I will not call or write... "
Good luck today. I hope for a tearless, upbeat one for both of us.
:)

Day # 4 was strange.
I had a lot of household chores and was real busy. In fact was feeling low and was not really able to focus on them at all. Just kept lying in my bed for a while, then pulled myself together and got some work done. I felt much better after that.
He called me in the evening sounding horrible. We kept talking about some weekend classes he had to attend and he told me he had not attended today or yesterday, he sure has paid a lot for them.
He told me he was unhappy with his life and not slept last 10 days.
I told him that he had made his choices and he should leran to be happy with them.
I do not think he had the face to ask me to meet or anything more, I think he has gotten the message loud and clear. I empathized as a friend and that was it. It was friendly unemotional from my end.
We exchanged 1-2 texts on pep talk & thank u's.
I feel fine (no urge to contact on my own), I do not think i will be sucked into the sympathy trap !
What do you think ?