Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I got a phone call from my daughter this morning, informing me that the Drs. have given my ex, 1 week or less to live. She has been fighting cancer for 3 years. My daughter was crying and asked me to pray with her. She said "Dad, I need your strength now, more than I ever have".
We cried together and prayed together. Even though her mother and I divorced almost 39 yrs. ago, I have done my best not to harbor any ill feelings towards her mom. Her mom has hated me all these years.
Last week, she agreed to talk to me but, I didn't find out till Sat. that she okayed it. This morning, she was non-responsive and they rushed her to the hospital. She is not eating or talking. It may be too late for us to talk. She was my high school sweetheart. This is sad and very hard for me to deal with.
How would you all deal with this?
We cried together and prayed together. Even though her mother and I divorced almost 39 yrs. ago, I have done my best not to harbor any ill feelings towards her mom. Her mom has hated me all these years.
Last week, she agreed to talk to me but, I didn't find out till Sat. that she okayed it. This morning, she was non-responsive and they rushed her to the hospital. She is not eating or talking. It may be too late for us to talk. She was my high school sweetheart. This is sad and very hard for me to deal with.
How would you all deal with this?
-
Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
-
My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
My first husband died years after we had gotten divorced and I had remarried. Because he had divorced our son too and had no contact with him, and no cards or presents, he had, thank goodness, agreed to give up his rights and allow my second husband to adopt our son.
I found out my first husband had died when I looked in the obituaries in the newspaper. Our marriage was done when he hit the baby, but his family had also divorced my son and me (except for his grandparents). I arranged for flowers to be sent and I also sent a beautiful card to the parents expressing my sympathy and telling them if there was anything I could do, to please call and giving my phone number. I meant that.
I did not go to the viewing or funeral with my son because I felt it would have intruded on them.
I want you to keep in mind that even though your ex-wife wanted to talk to you, that message was not passed for some time. It probably was done to allow them to have the time to spend with her alone and without you there.
Talk to your daughter and ask her what she thinks about you spending just a few moments to speak with your ex in the hospital, even though she may be non-responsive. If you do go, would make sure any comments you make to your ex-wife are positive and if it were me, I would tell her that its okay to let go.
Thanks for being such a caring person.
Memories, yes, I have many with her mom. Our first date, our first kiss, our wedding, our honeymoon to New Mexico, the "pet" name I had for her, the birth of our kids, yes, I remember them all.
I remember the fights, the tears, the stab wound, the bruises on my face, the scratch marks on my neck, the blood running down my legs where she had kicked me. The times she came to where I worked and physically attacked me in front of my co-workers, the times she ran me out of the house with a butcher knife and all I had on was my underwear. The times she cussed me, called me names and told me she prayed for my death, every time I left home on my motorcycle.
Through all of this, I never held hatred for her. We have been divorced for almost 39 years and I have never caused her any issues. I have stayed out of her way, I have tried to be cordial when I saw her, even though she would not speak to me very often and if she did, it was followed by a sarcastic remark. All this is very sad. 2 years ago, when the cancer returned, I went to the ICU and I told her whatever I had done to make her hate me so bad, all these years, I was sorry. I also told her I held nothing against her. She was on a ventilator and couldn't speak but, she wrote on a yellow pad "thank you".
The next few days are going to be very difficult for me. Her parents and all her family have passed away now. She has one older sister left is all she has of her immediate family. She has no aunts or uncles left. Just cousins scattered all over the US.
Again, thanks for your comments and prayers. I do so appreciate them.
If going to see her one last time helps you get even more closure and helps your daughter too I would do it.
Big big ((hugs)). Take care of yourself and your daughter.
I am so very, very sorry. All you can do now is follow your heart really.
Be there for your little girl (she will always be that). Be there for your ex. No great words of advise here. Just loads of love and prayers coming your way.
My son and daughter are there. I am proud of both of them.
But a strang emotion happened to me. I was to be married to a man, and the engagement broke up in 1971. Since then he married, and had children, and I never heard from him. But I looked him up on the internet a few months ago, just to see how his life turned out. Seems he died 3 years ago. I was surprised about the strong emotion that I felt, since I never saw him after 1971...
So, I can imagine how you must feel.
Just pray for your ex and do something nice for yourself, try to keep busy...
(hugging OLDBIKER tight)
If it were my ex I'd be by his side, holding his hand and speaking quietly to him. I did something similar with my only grandparent who died a few years ago.
The nurses told me she might hear me even if she doesnt respond. Even so, I like to think spirits, apart from our bodies can sense intentions and energy.
But more than extending peace and care to my ex, I think I'd be pouring a lot of energy toward our child, sharing our connection to him, sharing our memories, loving and caring and supporting one another, just grieving together.
I dont know how able you are to do those things in terms of distance or expenses.
I feel sadness thinking about it, and how you and your daughter have to say goodbye to someone who once meant so much to you.
Youre a sensitive generous spirit. I have faith your heart is always leading you in the right direction.
((hugs))