Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I got a phone call from my daughter this morning, informing me that the Drs. have given my ex, 1 week or less to live. She has been fighting cancer for 3 years. My daughter was crying and asked me to pray with her. She said "Dad, I need your strength now, more than I ever have".
We cried together and prayed together. Even though her mother and I divorced almost 39 yrs. ago, I have done my best not to harbor any ill feelings towards her mom. Her mom has hated me all these years.
Last week, she agreed to talk to me but, I didn't find out till Sat. that she okayed it. This morning, she was non-responsive and they rushed her to the hospital. She is not eating or talking. It may be too late for us to talk. She was my high school sweetheart. This is sad and very hard for me to deal with.
How would you all deal with this?
We cried together and prayed together. Even though her mother and I divorced almost 39 yrs. ago, I have done my best not to harbor any ill feelings towards her mom. Her mom has hated me all these years.
Last week, she agreed to talk to me but, I didn't find out till Sat. that she okayed it. This morning, she was non-responsive and they rushed her to the hospital. She is not eating or talking. It may be too late for us to talk. She was my high school sweetheart. This is sad and very hard for me to deal with.
How would you all deal with this?
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
I sitting here all pist off because my ex just got remarried and that is not why I am angry
I am angry because our 10 yr old son was not even told about the wedding and was not invited
He hardly ever picks our son up and lives just minutes away. after reading your story I guess things could be a lot worse
(((((((((OLDBIKER)))))))))
Whatever you are comfortable with.
Sending support and prayers
And since my kids are different from yours....my response would almost certainly be different. So for example, since my kids are minors, I'd have to take off of work, and get them out of school. Then I'd allow them to go to the hospital, stay home doing whatever, or go to school....as they wished.
Your daughter is older. What does she want? You've been there for her with praying, does she want private time in the hospital with her mother? Or would she prefer you to go with her?
I pray that whatever the outcome that somehow you find peace and comfort.
(hugs)
Behind our then 17 year old daughter. I can truly relate. I would say counseling for both of you and do whatever you can to support her and her mothers family if possible. The healing will take time and lots of self care. Take care...hugs
(((((Old Biker)))))
First of all, your emotions on this are very personal... everyone goes through it differently. I had full blown grief. See with my X, he killed himself through alcoholism - I didn't divorce him because love was gone... I divorced him because it wasn't safe to be with him anymore. The alcoholism took over his mind so much that even when I couldn't go get it for himself anymore, he HIRED people to get it for him....
I had anger that he could do this to himself and us - wasting his life, wasting our love... and I had overwhelming sadness and feelings of loss because I still love him so very much. Because the alcoholism destroyed any possibility of my being there holding his hand in his last days, I just was there for my son. I was actually asked to go into the room shortly after we found out the X was in ICU, but when I did the X had another seizure, so I left and went into the waiting room and waited. In fact, most of the time I waited for hours in the hospital waiting room for updates as my son went in and stayed with my X. I also went with my son when it was time to make funeral arrangements, supported him through all the phone calls....
The X had told the hospital staff that his parents were dead - they aren't - and so as everything ended, I helped my son with everything. I took care of the funeral arrangements because there was no life insurance and it was the ONLY thing I could help with, then I delivered some of the ashes to his parents so they could have closure, It was the hardest thing I've ever done - being with his parents - but I'm glad I did it - my inlaws had LOTS of questions that only I could answer... The rest of the ashes my son has to scatter here at home and I bought a GORGEOUS urn with a fisherman on it that my son will keep...
The only part that I wasn't prepared for was MEMORIES... the 80's road trip cd I put in my van to keep myself awake as I was heading out on the 1000 mile route to deliver the ashes was actually all the music we skated to during our first dates in high school... the rest area overlooking the Missouri River where we first stopped when we moved out here... the highway where we first went "steady"... the motel where we spent our wedding night... places we lived together. GOD, that was BRUTAL.... I bawled the entire way... in between "talking" to the ashes where I was either yelling at him for throwing everything away to telling him how much I loved him...
I ran into the "x-wife" thing alot... being the X, you'll find there's alot of things that aren't appropriate to be involved in... like sympathy cards, final estate issues, etc. In one sense, not being involved makes everything easier, but in another sense it is harder to express your grief.... I bawled during his memorial service.... Still, some wonderful people understood and still included me in cards, hugs....
And even now that everything is done and the tears have faded, memories come.... back scratches as we watched ghost stories on tv Saturday nights... I "see" him in every guy walking down the street - the way he walked or the clothes he wore. GOD, I miss him...
I found that reading the support pages for widows and widowers on DS helps alot. Sure the circumstances are different, but grief is there, all the same. And it too shall pass.... {{HUGS}}