I can see that this has caused a lot of reaction in lots of DSers! Heave, I just want to give you a vote of confidence. You sound as if you have thought it through and are pretty clear on how you want to handle it (although it will be annoying at times), and you are just venting at the unpleasantness of it.

It reminds me of those psych experiments on rats, where the experiments end a behavior by not rewarding it: "Extinction occurs when a behavior (response) that had previously been reinforced is no longer effective. In the Skinner box experiment, this is the rat pushing the lever and being rewarded with a food pellet several times, and then pushing the lever again and never receiving a food pellet again. Eventually the rat would cease pushing the lever."

So, at some point she WILL stop pushing the level. She may be more persistent than a rat, though--hope not!

Tell her it's alright to borrow the truck. She just have to leave a deposit!

8-)

*picturing a rat driving his truck...lol.

I kinda have to agree with your Heave as far as trying to keep a small margin of peace to avoid pissing her off and having her go to her lawyer & start mixing things up again. I am pretty well in the same boat as you (no pun intended LOL). I try & keep peace between my stbx because he's giving me part of his check each week to put toward the mortgage & utilities.Trying to sell but like everyone knows, cold day in hell that will happen for a long time. But I do know if I piss him off, or tell him what I "really" think of all his BS that brought us to this divorce & what I think of his stinking Skank he'd trash every bit of progress we've made toward the divorce & he'd get real ugly.
I haven't seen him in over two months & I live on the 37 acres by myself. I cut all the grass...I mean I take care of everything. (he frigging doesn't offer to do a dam thing). But just tell your stbx that you feel it's best you stay on your own side of the fence & suggest she gets someone in her family,or group of friends to help her out. She's just trying to use you, and proably would laugh with her friends over what a loser you are if you ever did show up.
My question is, Why don't you have "CALLER I.D." on your cell phone. Sure would save you some heartache. I have it on my house & cell phone. There are many,many times during these past number of months that I won't even pick up if it's stbx.I have to be in a "certain" mood to even face talking to him.

You can get through this without fluffing up her tail feathers real bad. She'll get tired of hearing you say you already have commitments whenever she's looking for free maintenance work... & get CALLER I.D.!!
Take care.

Heave, just screen your calls and if you do talk to her, tell her you are very busy. Take care.

fucktard...tell her to contact 1800-fucktards...maybe there is a one for sale...lol..tell her you are busy all the time, and that should do..hang in there

I love answering machines and caller ID, they are woinderful things in a divorce. use them to your benefit.

I have read this post as "Leave Mel the hell alone" about 5 times today!!

But my stbx does that already. Try to get your stbx to get a job in China. Works wonders.

I don't understand how exes still expect you to do all of your "honey do" stuff. You are exes... I would tell her that I am no longer going to be there for you and you better learn how to be independant.

I am sorry you have to deal with this. You shouldn't. She should have to deal on her own.

Good luck.

I see both sides of the argument. I'm also going along to get along with my stbx. My goal is getting a good settlement; I can't afford to piss him off and make things worse. Bottom line, divorce ends up being a business negotiation, and you don't want to allow anger to cloud the issues and negatively affect the outcome for you.

On the other hand, I hear what everyone else is saying--at some point you'll have to tell her to get her own work done.

I guess it's up to you how you handle this. I would also suggest caller ID; don't be so available to take her calls.