He sounds very selfish and this might be the best for you. I have to be honest he is not worried about you and I don't think he loves you.. Time to make a clean break and move on. It's not easy but this is what you have to do.

I'm so sorry. I remember from before, you and him were having problems, and he's so much younger, not responsible, lying about his drinking, etc. Are you still in your Grandma's house?

Well, just let him go and do his own thing. Can't make him stay living there. A little separation probably can't hurt at a time like this. Maybe then he will see all that you did for him. You will still talk to him. Just take it day by day, try not to get overwhelmed by the big picture of it being over (possibly, if it is indeed over). Time apart will help with perspective... for both of you. Keep us posted.

I know this is rough for you, im going through something similar but for different reasons. It really does hurt knowing what you put into someone and the love you share without getting it in return from someone you trusted. I am not at a state to give great advice right now but I know im using this time apart to really think of all the things that I have brought to the table and I am slowly realizing I deserve better eventually. hope you find some clarity through the pain, im here if you want to talk.

You are experiencing an emotional attachment. He sounds like he has nothing going for him. Its time to move on. Someone said you mentioned him sneaking and drinking? He's not moving to get on his feet, he's moving so he can drinkkkkkk his butt off. Let it go, age has no boundaries, we can meet and find love at any age. So time to focus on you.

Did he ever meet your needs?
Moving back to his parents house?
Sorry to hear this.
Sounds like he needs a Mother more than he needs a GF.

Im riight with everyone here. You told me to move forward from my predicament, I think moving forward would be the best course of action. If he straightens his act, and ONLY if he straightens his act will you allow him to return to talk. Its tough I kniw but the long term far surpasses the short term. You know Im here if you wanna talk

He never actually hid drinking. he basically was just drinking alot with his friends. When he said he wanted things to work 5 weeks ago he did change his ways. He stuck to it which was really amazing. Its tough bc he is in a rut being on WC and not getting a check yet. PLus I have this crazy cousin who comes to my house during the day and takes care of my grandma. All she does is scream and cry about her life. That can make anyone uncomfortable especially when u are home all day. Not making excuses for him. but i did tell him that he should go back and save money and if it doesn't work out for us then it doesn't. i wont hold anyone hostage. It makes me sad though. He isn't taking any of his stuff though. hes just going to avoid having to pay rent at my house n get his bills under control. Hes just so IMMATURE. I mean sometimes its overwhelming. But in the end he has really made changes since he said he would. And i appreciate that. I appreciate all your comments too. It helps a lot hearing outside opinions. Ultimately its m who has to make the decision on where we go from here. As of right now it is what it is.

Ultimately its YOU who decides the treatment you will accept from others. You seem to be abdicating your happiness by accepting "it is what it is".

I look forward to hearing from you again when once again his behaviors cause you to get "just so fed up".

I just wish he would grow up. thats his biggest issue. he cant seem to grow the f up. His mom still treats him like hes a 10 year old. So do his sisters. It amazes me how enabled they made him. He has come a long way since he moved in 2 years ago. But i guess it takes a lot more time than that to get out of that way of thinking

Is he still living with you?

Yes he hasn't gone anywhere. i just wish he would get back to work already and maybe he could get out of this rut.

So nothing changes...

Are you going to continue to "cater to him and all his needs"?

If you do, you continue to enable him. Why would that motivate him to change?

Yard-eggs, I haven't been catering. I have been putting my foot down. Yes i admit i haven't been as serious about things as i should be, I started to go back to therapy too yesterday. Which really helps ,me out. I do have a motherly nature to me already considering i live in my grandmas house and i have been helping care for her since she has gotten bad with dementia. So cooking dinners and doing laundry is something i always did. Rushing home from work though to make sure he eats and has everything he needs is no longer in my schedule.

Relationships can be very difficult sometimes. Have you asked him if he is trying to save money for the both of you for the future? If that is the case then maybe it can be a really good thing so you both can save money! Have you tried talking with him about how this is making you feel? Being open and honest in a relationship is so important. I hope everything works out!

Bailey, He has said that yes. But with him u never know. He has always been a selfish person. I guess only the time will tell. I think the distance will help us get better. I am a very positive person so i like to look at the good side of things. if it doesnt work out then that is how it was meant to be and I did all i could.