I am happy that we have this forum in which to vent! The beach sounds like a lot of fun and you're right, if she came along, it wouldn't be fun anymore. I learned that lesson a long time ago. As angry as I got that stbx wouldn't attend outings with us, I had to admit that we had more fun when he didn't. When he did, there was just a tension that changed the whole dynamic.

She sounds deep in her affair fog, do you think
She will step up to the plate when you leave
Taking care of the house, kids and pets. Thats
A lot to maintain plus work.

My ex was into that sexting at least it was when
I wasnt around or to see it. HUGS

I hope you enjoy the time at the beach.

It is frustrating, I can imagine. The inconsideration of others still just boggles my mind with each instance I see. I don't get how we can treat others with such disregard and lack of care.

I honestly wouldn't want to be with someone who had such disregard for their own children. That would speak volumes to me about their character.

Just enjoy your time with the kids, these will be precious memories for you and them----especially you. They grow so fast and you will not even realize how fast time flies till they graduate from high school. She is the one who will end up losing as she is more concerned with other things than watching the children grow. She will regret the time she wasted away from them when she is older and it will always be you they come to.
Parents who don't want to spend time with their kids when they are little and growing up are the parents who can never understand why their kids don't come to see them when they move out and have families of their own.

During the 7 weeks or so that I was doing marriage counseling with my now-ex, she was clearly checked out. I was trying, she was not. And we had one Friday when she had the day off and I took the day off. It wasn't a special outing. We decided to go to the mall and pick up some things we needed, for us and also our daughter. But she was texting the WHOLE DAMN TIME. And in retrospect I know she was cheating in some capacity during this marriage counseling period. It angers me. In my mind, she was just like the teenage babysitters I had seen watch our daughter. Always on her phone, priorities wacked out, like an overly-hormonal teen. That's what she was. And likely still is, a year+ later. Sad.

I can't explain it, and I think those of us who are afflicted by it - well, what can we do? Sunder ties, experience the pain, and move on the best we can. A friend of mine said "you were dealt a bad hand - you couldn't have predicted this!" I believe that. Our relationship lasted nearly 20 years. The person she was at the end... Could I have foreseen that from who she was at the beginning? Not likely.

Advice for the future: Number one personality trait in someone you might be interested in should probably be INTEGRITY. Although I thought she had that, so who knows. Good luck. Rant on. That's what we are all here for. I suppose I still get perspective and catharsis from reading and commenting here, even after my divorce.

Oh by the way, my ex is a highly-educated person - a critical care physician. Who acted like she was 18 during the final 1-2 years of our marriage. Some sort of midlife crisis? I don't know. Don't care anymore. She's crap to me. Trash.

Its great that we have this forum..to come to and cry....get angry and feel sad. Its a safe place with others
who r in the same boat or have been there. I think its good and healthy for u to vent ur anger here.
Her flippant attitude toward her children and u tells me volumes about her character. She has none.

@steppingovertheedge
You nailed it. Ive been thinking that she has been acting like a teenage girl. Its very wierd. Maybe it is some sort of midlife crisis, but she is totally different than the woman I married. I dont know what's going on but Indo know I wouldve been happy to work through it with her, but she has burned that bridge. She's on her own now.

I completely get it - being angry and disgusted that she won't spend time with the kids... But also knowing everyone will have a better time if she isn't there.

I remember a day 2 years ago. It was a holiday - the last one we were ever going to spend together as a family. We planned on telling the kids about the separation the next day. I had to force him to spend the day with us. We went to a park. After 15 minutes he wanted to leave. I was so disgusted. He couldn't give them one last day? In the end he went off by himself to text while I played with the kids.

In retrospect, it didn't matter. He was checked out. The kids didn't expect anything different from him by that stage so they weren't disappointed. Your heart is breaking and disappointed because you have higher expectations for yourself and your children

You've got a tough road ahead. There will be need for many more rants! Rant away!