If she's given her heart to someone it's adultery, not cheating. Makes no sense but ..there you go.

Yah, that would be emotional affair for $1000 Trebek.

If her heart is elsewhere, do you really want her anyway?

let her go... so sorry. :(

I agree with everyone's perspective. You deserve the whole person. Don't hate....just move on and live well. It feels better that way.

Echoing TD's statement.

(But I would have to insert "and penis", change the pronouns... *sigh*)

I agree with the others, Wind. You deserve the kind of love that you have to offer.

Is a friendship an emotional affair? What is the difference?

alex i'll take 500 for she has been physical - they lie

Good question Rman... I think it crosses the line when you start to think of that person in a romantic light. Then you started getting that gooey feeling in your stomach, which is easily confused with over-indulgence of tacos, so you must be cautious.

Can you be attracted to someone else while in a relationship, not cheat and still be considered having an emotional affair?

Depends on the level of disconnect Rman... if you are having thoughts of building a life with this person... prolly not.

I had absolutely no problem with her friendship. I was glad that she had someone to talk to when she was having panic attacks 6 mo ago and called him instead of me. It hurt, but I understood. Now I learn that she writes love poems about him, and dreams of kissing him, and generally has twice the emotional connection with him that we do.
I'll take my blame. I don't communicate well and I've hurt her in the past. But I'm still willing to work on things, she isn't. I don't blame her for not being able to do the same, everyone has there limit. But I'm afraid (insecure?) that her relationship had more to do with this decision that she thinks.

I totally agree with everyone that it is cheating. If your partner doesn't have their whole heart for you then it is cheating or adultery. I am in the same place and I told my stbxh husband he was commiting adultery but he doesn't think so. Most people try to justify it isn't but if you are still together legally, you are commiting adultery.

Being attracted to someone is normal and happens to everyone, even the most committed. But, if you act on that attraction with phone calls, texts, e-mails, lunches, etc. it's an emotional affair. Your zipper doesn't have to go down for it to be cheating. The energy spent in those flirtations is not harmless and sucks the life out of a committed relationship until it seems lifeless and the newness of the affair becomes like a drug. Very damaging and just as hurtful as any one-night stand quickie.

The danger with emotional affairs is that the people who are having them slowly justify away what they are doing as just a friendship and an attraction. For physical, there are obvious "yes it's an affair", but emotional affairs are more subtle, yet consume more of the heart.

Almost everyone I've heard of who has had an emotional affair which led to divorce says their affair had nothing to do with the divorce. I know in my case it did. (She still thinks it didn't.) But, the problems and the start of the relationship correlate closely... Emotional affairs sap at your energy to build a healthy relationship with your spouse. And, they will destroy the marriage.

Anywho...

Can I ask for more expansion of what effect everyone thinks this kind of affair has on a relationship? Do people who have these relationships ever come around and realize the reality? I know it doesn't really matter at this point, just trying to make sense of it... if possible.