He wont change. I am going through the same thing. Verbally and emotionally abused for years. Hating myself, thinking he is right. But they arent right. You are wonderful and if you need to talk just message me. We can get through this together.

It is hard to leave a person whom we make a promise to love forever. It was for me. I was tortured mentally and physically for 11 years. When he turned it towards my children, only then did I have no choice. I knew that with his temper that he may not mean it but he could kill me or my children. People who love, don't like to give up, but we can't afford for them to kill us or our children. Only you can decide, but it sounds like you already know. You have no choice. You are not a failure for protecting your life. Sweety, we can t fix them. Someone once told me that Hitler had a good side. He loved children and dogs, but he was very, very evil. Run sweety run and heal. I will say a prayer for you. God bless.

sadgirl I was married to a diagnosed Narcissist for 33 years. If you haven't done your research please start now. He will never be well and will only get worse as he ages. Mine was very low key but in doing the research and the help of a therapist I finally realized he was never going to be well. I had access to a lot of mail and the number of women he cheated on me with was shocking. He did his cheating during work hours. When he was home there was always a beer nearby. You deserve better than the way he is treating you.

I have made no assumptions about your life or your story. You stated you don't know why you are becoming a person you don't want to be. All I did was say look, I have been in a situation where I was not honest about my life because I knew people would wonder why I stayed. I knew that it was a bad decision and I was not in a place where I could take someone else telling me it was a bad decision because I knew and would beat myself up and I didn't have the strength to hear it verified that I was stupid. Instead of judgmental I was being understanding and supportive. Instead you see it as an attack.

There is a difference between adult interaction and arguing. You say you just wanted to vent then maybe you need a blog and not a support group. I don't know your whole story nor does anyone. But you do not know mine either. What I know is from your original post you sounded like you were unhappy with your life and wanted to change it. I tried to give you the steps that took me out of my unhappy life and helped me to change it and it is so much better for not just you but everyone around you to get out of such a negative situation. It was an attempt to help you and show not only compassion but useful steps. What I found changed my life was when I quit talking about everyone else's behavior and concentrated on my own. Let's try putting the words in capital letters that really make a difference. My husband is a jerk, my therapist didn't help me, a stranger is judging me translates into I am putting up with a jerk, I needed to find a therapist that helped me and I asked for clarity from others and reacted negatively. The term is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

Good luck to you in whatever it is you are wanting. People to listen to you gripe, sympathy or hopefully change to a happier existence. Everyone deserves to feel valued and loved or at least not to have the betrayal of the person who is supposed to provide that.

Sadgirlnc...its the same for me. It was constantly me having to change.. It was all my fault if i would just fix myself we would be fine. But its not your fault. He has to want to fix your relationship and if he doesnt you have to make the choice to leave. In my situation i left because he started throwing (small things but still) things at me. It was getting bad. I stayed until finally everything came to head and I had no choice to leave. Im thinking about you.

All these situations are sad, bad and if you are in danger you should not live with the person. Ravenck, what you just said at the start of your reply sounds so sickeningly familiar and right on the mark regarding a narcissist. You just want to fly away from them after secondguessing yourself for only a minute. What they NEED is severe humbling. Only God can accomplish that in their lives. They won't accept it from anyone else. And even if God does work it, will they see the light?? Pride is something God hates. Anyway I was married to a man with psychopathic traits more than narcissistic. The 2 crossover a little in the blame arena. With the psychopath it's immediately (via lies) the 180 rule: accusing you of what they're guilty of.
My husband died in the hands of a hospital a few months ago. I didn't live with him(he lived w/ his family) but talked everyday and spent time together now and then. I know we are committed and want to love our husbands through everything. Though my husband had major issues and was physically/mentally/verbally abusive early on and even from the hospital bed, I'm not aware that he ever was an adulterer.And I believe he loved me. He said it all the time. I think he spoke about meeting women or about how we should legally end our marriage to make me jealous and love him more. It (the end of marriage) never happened because we never wanted it to.
Familiarity doesn't always bring contempt, but an understanding and the knowledge of how to cope. Everyone's partner and situation is different, but in my case I remained committed and now that I'm bereaved of him(who said he was dependent on me) I realize how dependent (or codependent) or hopefully interdependent I was on him. God bless you all and stay safe. Acts 2:38 Acts 22:16 Mark 16:16 Galatians 3:27 Rev. 1:5 Born again

Concerning God humbling people, there are a couple examples I just remembered from the bible. King Nebuchadnezzar and King Herod. The former was proud and then humbled-driven from civilization to live like an animal having lost his mind. He glorified God in the end. But Herod didn't. When the people called him a god and not a man, he didn't give the glory to God (he didn't correct them) so God's angel struck him on his throne and he was eaten of worms it says.