Take care of yourself Sad, if he is diagnosed
And PD You know what you gotta do. There
is not much helping them unless they are willing
to do the hard Work of taking down their false
self and getting honest. GOOD LUCK, HUGS

You say narcissist!
Run! I'm not joking. You won't change him and you will never win an argument. I know...I'm divorcing one. They are mean, evil, lying, and will twist everything you do to make it your fault. They will do everything they can to make your life hell. Get out. Get a lawyer and the best way to deal with a narcissist...is go full NO contact.
Therapy and join a divorce group. Read up on how to divorce a narcissist. I'm reading a book right now on that. You will need all that info.
Sorry you have to be going through this. Bad enough having to go through divorce, let alone divorcing a narcissist. The mind games are unbelievable. Stay strong
-HUGS-

Thank you, both. I really thought the nightmare was over a couple years ago... he's been "fine" and more like he was "in the beginning" but recently, he's gone right back to that dark place. I know I need to get out now, especially after wasting years that were supposed to be some of the best of my life.... years wasted on a guy who couldn't care less if I'm dead or alive...

I have fallen into that category as well...looking for reassurance from others. And when I get that response from them, I never really know what to do with it. It's temporary and then I am right back where I started from. I really sucks...because it reminds me I am still searching for a fairy tale and I have to remind myself those don't exist. As for miracles...I sometimes forget how small they can be. My thought is to start looking around you for small things...that miracle is there but it might not be where or what you expect it to be. Good luck.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm at the point where I don't trust or believe in anything or anyone, ever.

I watched my mom go through things and it is not worth it. She waited 20 years to get out. It started small and got worse and worse. I went through a little myself with my ex wife. She become abusive towards the end of our marriage until I decided enough was enough and got out. Everything was my fault and verbally she tried to just tear me down daily. Don't let someone bring you that far down. You are worth more than you know and someone will show you what you are truly worth one day.

I'm so sorry. I have been there, it took me many, many years to get over what he said and did to me. Is he physically abusive to you too?

If you want help then you have to do the big stuff. Don't lie to your therapist. Take the advice she gives and she can't help you if you are not honest. You talk about your husband not getting help but what about you? You might have gone to therapy twice but it doesn't sound like you tried it. Good luck.

Bees2000, he has been physically abusive towards me, yes.

I didn't come on here to be judged, bakerjackie321. Clearly, I haven't posted my entire history.

ChelseaLeigh , thank you. I feel as though I'm getting to that point too... where I'm just done. I can't care anymore... but he's so manipulative that it scares me....

I am not judging you. I am just saying therapy doesn't work unless you do what you need to do. When you are lying to your therapist it makes it impossible for her and you to address the issues. I think you might spend some time in therapy discovering why you are defensive when someone states something other than poor you. I know it is extremely hard to be in a place where you are not where you need to be and instead of facing the fact that you for whatever reason are too weak to deal with the negative feedback.

I don't know your entire history but I know your history with me is to tell yourself you have done everything you can do when in reality you haven't and you don't like to be told so. Maybe you need to learn the difference between support and enabling.

Absolutely no reason for you short snotty response.

Mine is a sociopath diagnosed and also refuse to get help you can't help someone that won't help themselves I've read many books on it and made me realize I don't need this shit

While I appreciate your seemingly "tough love" approach, I'm pretty sure I know therapy doesn't work if you're not being truthful with your therapist. Again, I'm not laying out the entire history. What I failed to mention is that the therapist spent majority of my time with her talking about herself and her past issues.

What else I failed to mention were the other things I've endured with him (verbal, emotional, sexual, physical abuse) and the steps that I've taken to not only try to save our relationship but save myself. I'm using this site as a venting tool and to connect with other people who have been through similar situations. I am not on here for sympathy nor am I here to hear "poor me", as you so rudely put it. And I most certainly am not on here to argue with strangers. I don't even argue with anyone in real life. I've owned up to the mistakes I've made along the way, believe me.

Absolutely no reason to leave YOUR snotty response. Before you make another assumption about me and my situation, you don't know me or my story.

Tolonely, how long did you stay?