Normal? perhaps.. perhaps a sign of the times...

Just guessing but from the on again off again it sounds like he is trying..

Check out male depression at

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/male-depression/MC00041

Male depression is serious, misunderstood and potentially fatal.
It looks like many of the symptoms you described.
It may not be your guy but is worth the thinking...

This is normal - not for a healthy relationship, but for the one he's developed with you. I agree with the last commentor about this possibly being a mental health issue with him. You don't indicate that there are children and unworkable financial difficulties to deal with so I\m going to assume its just you and him and that you can survive financially on your own. That makes an ultimatium quite doable: Get yourself some therapy, within the week, or I want you out of my life for good. If he says no therapy but I'll change and then starts acting nice again - boot him. That's just the 'honeymoon period' you described earlier and it will definitely end.

My two cents.

you took him back because you love him and now you know that you have tried to make the relationship work....

I am speaking with my ex now and we are gonna take it day by day.....

it is so difficult to break away from the ones we love.......we want to be happy and we want the best for them.

don't beat yourself up, you are only human.......

I agree--you need some counseling. Sounds like you have a lot of self-esteem issues and that's why you have difficulty letting go.

Is this normal? No. Healthy relationships are a balance of caring and compromise. What he is doing is using you until someone else comes along.

Counseling will help you break free from him.

i've been studying bipolar and depression over the last few weeks and i got to tell you i think my ex suffers from severe depression with alot of signs of bipolar..we can't help them till they help them selves..it sux and it's hard and it hurts like hell..i'm here for you if you need anything.

His behavior as you describe it would be frustrating at best, and very painfull. We all seek the love of the person we love and when we don't get it we start to explore every factor in our relationship.

Is it possible that you have unreal expectations from your husband? Is it sometimes difficult for him to return your calls, etc. within the time you think he should? Are you doing anything to contribute to his desire to not come home or not want to talk when he is home?

Sorry you are feeling so low. Keeping a relationship going is a tough thing to do and often painfull.

Be well...

I am gathering from other post he is not willing or can not seem to change and he knows you will always take him back...this is very bad and really an emotional roller coaster. To even make it work you two need to communicate about what you expect from a relationship. If your barely back together and things are already south its not a good sign and his silent treatment is not ok if you two are suppose to be working on things,

Well for one he is not my husband he is my on and off again boyfriend of almost 8 years. I think we have been broke up more than together and he even admits that the first couple of years he didn't even love me but then he realized later he loved me. My major complaint has always been that I have felt used by him because it seems the only time he wants to spend with me is in the bedroom. I am trying to have a relationship but he seems to give me attention and spend time with me when he is working to get me back. Once we are back together the only time I see him is when he goes to bed. I think I am a convenience to him he says I am being controlling when I tell him we don't do things as a couple and at first when we get back he gives me a lot of attention and once he gets me back it stops to where really its been two weeks and the only time we spent alone is when he was asleep or the one day we went to the river to talk because he wanted me back which was two weeks ago. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster because as it stands right now after telling him this yesterday was a problem for me he still had other plans, all last weekend, all this week (unless he was here to sleep and have sex), and today he acted like we had time until his friend showed up then i find out he has other plans to work on his junky motorhome that he should have never bought. It is a piece of junk he has now spend over 5,000 dollars on and it doesn't even work! It wont start half the time, its all dirty, the paint is dull and peeling off, none of the electrical works on it and he keeps spending more and more money on it and even if it were cleaned i wouldn't trust it to go anywhere. Brief history, he has two cars torn apart engine and body wise for years and never fixes them or gets them working. He hoards peices of junk. I managed to get them off my property, there is another one yes, a fourth one because we need to count the motorhome can of worms too, and the el camino that needs an engine, body work, paint job, electrical harness the whole deal. i know these are nice cars if they ever got fixed at least! He never fixes them. This deal today he will be out there for hours and the motorhome will still have the same problems because this is the 3rd time he has had someone come to fix it and it still always does the same thing. It wont start after its hot and you shut it off. I would not go anywhere in it last weekend we got stuck at the gas station for 4 hours because it wouldn't start and it was 100 degrees out and I had his five year old grandson. This guy is killing me. I have diabetes and arthritis, spine problems, and mental problems and this guy is like the motorhome a can of worms. I am so mad today then after this guy leaves he is going to get his grandkids because his daugther (30 yrs) calls an hour ago saying she needs someone to pick them up because she doesn't plan ahead of time he jumps everytime for every, but not for me. I ask for a day of time for us and i wait weeks and it does not happen. He tries to see since he is here this is our time! I have only seen him 2 hours in the last 48 hours!!! He works nights i work mornings to noon. My real problem is when we break up and he wants me back he will spend 3 days with me and do everything with me but once he has me back I get nothing. We have not been alone once since he came back. Everytime he says he will try but then he begins not only just not trying but he doesn't answer texts, phone calls, maybe 1 or 2 hours later, excuses like he left his phone in the truck. But when he wanted me back and i said no he text me all day and night. Last night he said he cant text at work but 2 weeks ago he wouldn't leave me alone on the texts!! I get it really, it is his cycle. He gets mad when I speak up and ask why he walks away, wont talk to me, wont answer questions, cuts me off physically and emotionally if I do not go along with everything he wants. If i say no to anything like i said why do you have to do the motorhome today? Because that is what I am doing. It is his way or the highway. If i tell him no that is not what i want he says i'm controlling and he gives me the silent treatment or leaves me and wants to come back later.

My real problem is when we break up and he wants me back he will spend 3 days with me and do everything with me but once he has me back I get nothing.

Good, you have identified the problem. Now, what are you going to do about it?

I get it really, it is his cycle

And it is your cycle. You get fed up and break up, he sells you a story, you buy into it and take him back, things are good for a few days, then you get fed up with his behavior, repeat the cycle, repeat, repeat. You can't break his cycle, but you can break yours. Are you willing to do that?

I really do feel a lot of pain in your posts. Hopefully you will learn to take his abuse, and your unreal expectations of him will end so you can have some peace. He won't change. You need to adjust to being treated poorly.

Thanks guys maybe I am going to find counseling so I can get help with my issues then I won't put up with his! This time when I told him "Why do you give me all kinds of attention when you want me back then it disappears as soon as you do?" He never answered he accused me of being with someone else the day after I broke up with him last time for taking me to his family reunion saying his x-wife wont be there (she hates me and is his cousin in case you wonder why she is there), he kept saying she wouldn't be but we drove up and she was getting out of the daughters car. I felt trapped. I asked him what do we do now and got no response so after the silence i said i guess I unload your stuff and leave then. I went home and he wouldn't answer texts and 2 phone calls all day and night. So I packed his truck (warned him first if he keeps up the silent treatment I will pack his stuff up). then at almost 10pm he text me cussing me out saying if i did pack it up i'm an asshole. So now yesterday he said whats wrong with your throat (I am being checked for oral cancer) is because you saw some guy and gave him a blow job! I can not believe he said this to me! The next day my son and I went to church and went in the pool and ate dinner and stayed home all day. A few years ago he left me for a whole summer and I didn't take him back from June to January 8 months because he wanted to have relations with his cousin and get rid of me I swore never to go back to him, but all his sorry's and begging, and I love you, blah blah blah!! I ended up getting back on the roller coaster. So a couple months after he did his F you and be with his cousin my friends set me up with their uncle and he and I had a fling for about a month then we just became friends but I never even see or talk to him and this is who he says I gave a blow job to and that is whats wrong with my throat. I told him that never happened and my son can vouch for me because he is with me all the time. He said my son just says whatever i tell him to say. That is totally not true either. My son got mad when I told him what he said about me. This is crazy. I hope I don't have cancer but if I do maybe thats what God has to do to me to get this guy out of my life for good hu?????? I made a living trust for all my things to go to my son (house, car, money-i dont have much, and all my belongings) just to make sure this guy doesn't try to take anything. I dont think he would but you never know. If I do have the cancer well my dad had it because of a chemical he used in his watch shop which I grew up in breathing it too, its called trichloretheline and its a cancer causing agent. If I do though I have my things in order and ready. I am going to try to make myself an appt with a counselor tomorrow. Thanks for all the support, I had a terrible day yesterday with this guy!! Miserable!! The things he says dont go away!

I told my ex boyfriend that he needs to work on himself and better himself in order for us to be back together again....

becuz it is a vicious cycle, good for a few weeks and then back to the cycle...

you need to take your time to ease back into a troubled relationship....

hugs to you