Remind yourself about why you wanted to break up. What was he doing, not doing.... things that you just couldn't take it anymore.

Writing things out really helps. Write in a private journal all your feelings. List all the reasons you broke up with him.

Next time you feel like calling, call a friend instead.
Delete his number.
Go do something else. Keep yourself busy.

hugs my friend. You are going to be fine. Give yourself time. That female instinct kicked in and you listened to it. Good. I wish I did. It would have saved me a lifetime of tears and heartache. If I can do it, so can you. He must have checked out long before you broke it up. Where did he end up???? What is he doing now.??? You need to put yourself first. Pamper yourself. Take as much me time as you need. Run around the place, learn a new hobby, anything. If you see him, just smile turn around and walk away. He did, way before you did. No contact is the way to go. No social media, no phone calls or text messages. Delete the history. you do not need it. You deserve much better than that.

This is so normal. You ask, "Why can't I control my urge?" Part of the answer is, our human brains get addicted to the good feelings from the chemicals we made inside us when we were around this person. It is all part of evolution to keep the human species alive and is totally normal, but in order to feel better and get your confidence back, you need to stop feeding your addiction with these little doses of contact with your ex, and detox, and eventually find other means of achieving the same brain chemicals or "high". This is one reason why so many people find themselves immediately in a rebound relationship, yet they cannot feel the same way for the new person, because the brain still has such a high tolerance for these chemicals.

Breaking up is a lot like kicking an unhealthy addiction, yet we don't have a rehab center you can escape to for a month. Fortunately, there are a lot of resources available for free on the internet. When you miss your ex, you can read articles about how to heal from a breakup, you can watch videos of some of the relationship experts, you can do a relaxation "forget your ex" hypnosis from youtube (these are wonderful and I highly recommend them), you can do a free yoga session you find online. I think the main thing is getting your confidence back, learning new things, learning about yourself, and eventually, becoming so much more amazing that your ex realizes it's his loss. Going no-contact is the first and most important step. Fake like you don't need him, until it becomes reality. Best of luck!!!

<--- Bad guy... Where did you think your relationship should go?
Why were you not driving your own path and direction and enjoying just allowing someone to love you for you without a direction?
What was wrong with your direction you were traveling?
Was he abusive? Neglectful? Did he cheat? Was he lying?
Do you love yourself? Do you stay healthy? Do you enjoy your hobbies? Are you driving your career?
So let me ask you if you go sit at the lake and watch the ducks swim around where are you going? Where did you think you were going to go?
If you left the relationship, leave him alone to travel his own path of success.
If you truly love him, do so in a manner that you are not afraid to lose him, and wish him the greatest success in his life.
Be blessed that you were able to be in each others lives and share a bond and love for each other.
Love yourself and reward yourself for being able to love others.

He doesn't appreciate you. You deserve to be treated with respect. Is he really that great? Think about it. Is he really what you want? If so, you wouldnt have broken up with him. Maybe you are just afraid of losing him. But nothing great can be created without something being destroyed.