I'm so lost and emotionally and physically drained.  My boyfriend of almost 7 years told me last night that he isn't happy and thinks we are not meant to be together.  We've been through a whole lot.  He has a drinking problem that affects me daily because I have to deal with him coming home in the middle of the night intoxicated, loud, waking everyone up.  I rarely get sleep cause I'm always worried about him and never know when he's going to come hone.  He has cheated on me in the past and I have never gotten over it.  It got swept under the rug but I deal with the insecurities everyday.  He lives with me but I feel I take care of him more then he takes care of me.  He doesn't drive and depends on me for most things in his life.  I'm a single mom of 4, taking care of them and him.  It's so hard!

He told me he doesn't want to break up but it sounds like he doesn't want to be with me.  He said he does but he feels we aren't meant for each other.  He says he is a detriment to me and my kids.  Though, I tend to agree with that cause although I love him, I feel he has taken away a lot of things away from me.  I spend so much time taken care of his needs, that mine are forgotten.  I can't even go to work without being anxious because I worry he is going to be in a coma due to his drinking and type 1 diabetes.  When his levels drop too low while he's drunk and sleeping, and he doesn't wake up, he can go int a coma or die.  I feel he can't take care of himself so it has become my job by choice cause I love him.  It's one example of my constant worries about him.

It hurts so bad that we may break up. He said he's super unhappy and has been drinking more. Last time he cheated, it started just like this.  He is also talking to a girl at work about our issues and it makes he so uncomfortable.  Brings back bad memories.  I just don't know what to do :(