he is a she and she said they are just roommates... one is gay and the other has a gf... using a gay roommate is getting old... like threes company all over again

to nofil69, matha2 is a spammer. Pay no attention to him/her.

Is your current "relationship" a long distance relationship/internet relationship or is it "face to face"?

Why do you not believe her when she says these guys are roommates? Do you believe guys and girls can't be just friends? Or do you think that guys and girls only want to get into each others pants?

long distance... she is 5 hours away in Canada and Im just below in the US... I took a chance with this one cause Im planning on moving back soon... Im Canadian... and being so close it was possible to meet but it didnt get that far... thank god

Why do you not believe her?

with everything I heard about opposite sex being friends, it almost always turns intimate... ya Im sure there are some actual cases where they continue as friends... there has been lots of studies on that subject... and in the studies, the guy or girl at some point think about that person... Im also going by life experiences as well... I had a couple friends that were friends since grade school and both went on their own way and even each got married... somehow they ended up in the same hotel and they visited each other and confessed their feeling and both divorced and got together
ya this is a long excuse to cover up my insecurities but its everybody's own choice as to what they are willing to deal with and that I cant

Ok, but if you rule out every female who has a male friend as not being dating material, you have reduced the dating pool significantly...

in this day and age where a relationship rarely ends up being a forever thing... I guess I just assume since there are hardly any success stories that possibilities of infidelity are acted upon way to easy so even if I want a forever I doubt I will find it anymore and I've been through several relationships near and far that ended with the other wanting a forever with someone else until their next forever comes along

its not like when I was young and hearing about everyone's gramma and grandpa being together their whole life back then it was common to hear of couples being together for life and now it common to here about breakups... so why am I looking for something thats a rarity... I'll accept me fate and stop looking and see if fate gives me a forever

Don't give up. You have to find out more information up front. You said because she wouldn't leave the guy. Did you know she was with him when you met her? If so, she is not who you want to be with anyway because if she cheats with you she will cheat on you. You have to know your deal breakers and stick to them.

well if I go with my dealbreaker I'll be worse off than what Cora said... I closed my eyes to things that I know is not right to see if Im wrong but its turns out Im right about them so even if I meet someone in the church or the library or shopping... it don't make a difference where I meet them... online or next door... the results always end up the same for me

You will probably not see many success stories on a "breakups and divorce" forum. I see success stories everywhere. In my immediate family, in my workplace, my neighbors and friends. Sure, some of them have had a divorce or major breakup in the mix, but even those people pick up the pieces; examine themselves, their needs and wants and how they may have contributed to the bad relationship; learn and grow to become better people, better partners and many find a happy, healthy, lasting relationship.

I'm in my 2nd marriage, this is my husband's 3rd marriage. But our marriage has outlasted all the others by 5-7 years each. I guess each of us could have resigned ourselves to our "fate" and given up on love, but we kept plugging along until we finally found each other...

By deal breakers I mean know what you will and won't deal with. If someone is doing something you won't tolerate you don't deal with them. You walk away from deal breakers. You may be single for a while longer but you won't be worse off. You can't close your eyes, that's why I suggested finding out more about them up front but you are right if you keep doing the same thing such as closing your eyes the outcome will always be the same

congrats to you for finding someone but I only married once and the others I didnt even get to marriage before it fell apart... I know Im to blame for them too... but I always wanted to work things out like you should in a relationship... but now I dont bother... if something goes wrong its over... I lost my will to fight for something I may never get is gone.. I've not once had anybody willing to fight for me thats why I say people are much to easy to just move on... theres a lot of fish in the sea like they say but I want just one... call me old fashion but going from fish to fish aint working for me anymore

I just cant do it anymore

I room mated with 2 guys and it was just that. But ok then with your theory.