Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Am i the only one that looks at there parents and wonders what would have happened if they didnt divorce. Would my life be different for the worse or even the better? Was it a good idea for them to divorce or should they have worked harder to make it work. Regardless, its been about 11 years since my parents divorced and to be honest i was upset at first. I mean its only normal, right? I blamed everything on my dad for not being in the picture but then again he never really was. I have maybe one good childhood memory with him and that's about it. Parts of me feel bad for not having more but he made the choice of working and not being with the family.
Flash forward all these years and i feel like we are still in the same situation we were in the first year he got divorced. Always sad and depressed. Wishing that my mom would take him back, i wish i could be honest with him and tell him the truth. I hold my breath every time jutst because i dont want to hurt him but at the same time he needs to hear it. My mom is never going to get back together with him, she doesnt love him the way she use too. My relationship with my mom is so much better than my relationship with my dad only because my mom made it work. She was always there, supporting us, loving us, and giving us that undivided attention that my dad never gave us when we were younger or even now.
So my question to anyone thats going throught the same thing, does it ever get better? Is this what i have to look forward to for the rest of my life. My dad consistently listening to music that reminds him of her, or hearing the same sobe story of how she is the love of his life and would do anything and everything for her. The she is my world speech, oh and my favorite the ugly cry of how he wishes she was coming back to him and we could be this big happy family.
Sorry not sorry but i am happier that yall arent together, ive lived the last 11 years with yall being without each other and honestly i am just over the fact that its been this long and my dad still cant get over my mom.
Help me understand
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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there has been considerable popular press on the social impact of misogyny (hatred of women). misandry (hatred of men) seems socially blessed. poor girl. how right you are to hate the evils of men. never mind that harboring hatred burns holes in your soul. those evil creatures are worthy of all the hate we can muster.i have 5 brothers, 5 sisters and 3 sons and 2 daughters. i hold that misandry is...
My parents didn't break up until my younger sister turned 18. It's been 8 years. My mother still blames my father for everything, and my father still talks about how much he loves her whenever he is around. But neither of them hold themselves accountable for much, and haven't changed much other than location.
I used to become very resentful for the way she spoke about him, because I watched both sides of it growing up. I will never understand the dynamic. I guess I just leave the conversation when it turns that way.
I hope your father realizes that building a relationship with you NOW is more important than trying to recreate a past that isn't realistic to anyone else. If he doesn't want to be with anyone else, that's his choice. But his relationship with you shouldn't depend on your mother being with him.
Maybe you telling him that his mindset is unhealthy and that he should seek counseling to help him move on would be the kick he needs to make a change. Or not. But it may be worth a try.
Usually when a decision to divorce is made, infidelity has occurred. It's possible that he strayed way back then, and then later regretted it. He may be consumed with guilt. Counseling can help him overcome that. Also, learning that you are concerned about him may also help him in that it suggests forgiveness - at least from you, if not your mom.
Good luck!
I think it's also important to put up healthy boundaries with our parents, especially those that keep pulling us back in to the muddy waters. It's ok to tell your dad how you feel and the hurt that he has caused you. He ultimately someday needs to take responsibility for that and deal with it. It sounds like he does have some regret and guilt for what transpired and he is realizing what he is missing. Unfortunately, it sounds like it is much too late for a relationship with your mom. Hopefully, someday he can come to the realization about the damage and ask for forgiveness and try to make a better relationship with his children and move forward from here. I know this is not an easy situation. I understand. I have been there. Wishing you the best.