Yeah I hear u I gave my husband everything and he left me for a older ugly woman, so sometime I guess it doesn't pay off

So many people out there and I chose to fall in love with her... Wow!!!

Do you think it might not be about you at all? It might be about her or both of you? All you can do is assure her, love her, and support her. That is it. Nothing more and nothing less.

Stop doubting yourself. Stop the negative thoughts. If you assure her, love her, and support her yet she cannot do the same then maybe it is out of your hands. When you learn to accept that you cannot change some things, then you learn to either deal with them or move on. Those negative self doubts will eat you alive.

Don't let them. I'm alive, smiling, living my life but I am dead inside. Live.

Is there nothing left to try? Marriage counseling? Do you know why she is feeling the way she does? Prayers for you, brother.

Any chance you gave up *too much* to be with her? Trying too hard makes it all too easy to give up the parts that allowed love to flourish in the first place.

I could be projecting on that part. . . I miss the poet I married. A busy, self-absorbed executive is no substitusky for a poet.

How do I make it through tonight. In a hotel trying to cope and not do something stupid....

I wish I could help just don't really understand what's going on.

The guy who can get them but can't keep them. Vise versa isn't true, actually those who can't get them can't keep them : atleast from a point of genuine attraction and desire.

" I lay in bed with the woman of my dreams but we don't even speak anymore " - the problem is that she is losing attraction for you - you get a woman and keep a woman by attraction or sexual polarity. That's why a woman can leave a good man who she knows loves her for a douchebag she is attracted to - ask the good husband / father whose wife left him and he doesn't know why, or the friendzoned nice guy etc

You have described the mistakes you make, your question has the answers.

Your mistakes and answers :
1 I have never tried so hard in my life to make anything work as much as I have with her - women date upwards while men date downwards, it could be a guy taller than her, smarter, more educated, earns more than her, in some regard a woman is attracted to a man of perceived higher value than herself - his value reflects on her too - ' trying to hard' is you telling her subconsciously that she has more value than you do, hence the lessened attraction. ( there is more to this than I can explain here )

2 She spends her entire life doubting my loyalty to her. - do you really think that it's just about your loyalty ? Unlike men, women have a good sense if a man is being loyal or not. If you are really loyal, she knows you really are loyal. She is really doubting your other options : you have to be loyal to her in spite of having other options : in spite of othe women wanting you.

Subconsciously women want (are attracted to ) a man other women want and no woman wants a man no other woman wants.

Men don't realise how competitive women are : a woman dates a married man and hopes he will leave his wife and family for her, she might even date him for years while ignoring and turning down single men. ( there are many examples to support this intersexual dynamic ).

Remain loyal but start talking or gettinp close to other female friends or even flirting : creating options. She might complain but remember you are dealing with her subconscious : you will instantly realise the sex will improve in quantity and quality for both of you

3 I gave up everything to be with her. Friends, hobbies, and my entire past in general and it's never enough.... - and this is what you think women want more than enough off ?

Here is the principle :

"Forget all those romantic clichés of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the centre of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore. "

Keeping a woman happy in a relationship depends on your ability to keep her polarized in her femininity with your masculinity. And it's not hard work at all, for me it's now effortless. It’s not really about you making her happy : it’s more about creating and providing a grounding or frame through your masculine energy that allows and enables her to express her feminine energy – which inherently makes her free and happy. This is the essence of masculinity.

It’s almost impossible for a woman not to feel happy around me. I get those,’ you just get me ‘ ‘ i feel we have a special connection‘ ‘ i don’t need to explain myself when I am with you ‘ ( I do confess that this has led to some unwanted affairs I am not proud of )

There are other principles of the inter sexual dynamic than I can’t highlight on this forum. You see, support won't change your situation, the application of accurate and practical knowledge can : you have the power and ability to change your situation. I know some women will protest some of the things I mentioned, but it does work to create a happy relationship for both of you.

I have no doubt that you love her and you are a good man, but are you being good at being a man ?

Damaged013, I agree with movingon2016, all you can do is your best! Be there, show her your love, do your part and make her feel loved and safe. Outside of this, as movingon2016 said, it’s out of your hands. I hate clichés, but you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. I would also suggest just telling her exactly what you’ve posted here, maybe more delicately, but tell her and open the doors to discussing the real problem. There’s something else going on here, her, you, or the both of you. Find the issue and work it out!

As others have commented as well, don’t forget to take care of yourself, that doesn’t mean neglecting you both as a couple, it means you need to foster other interests, rekindle your friendships, hobbies, family, and other activities that make you who YOU are. This statement is presumptuous, but I will forge ahead, you shouldn’t have to give up all these things to make her happy or any other person happy. What do you think?

I guess my real problem is that I have never really been in love with anyone until she came back into my life. She was my high school sweetheart and my first everything. We separated and both made our lives. We crossed paths later on in life and it was not a moment had ever passed. I think there is such a thing as too much love. I have forgotten who I am. I need to be me again.

okay so this is actually your first primary relationshp and you don't know how to break the ice.

Well you need to. It's part of being married. So turn towards her, and start talking about yourself.

Let your insides out to her. This is a lesson, your next step.

If you don't do it, the relationship dies. If you do do it, it may die anyway - or it may begin at last to flourish. Just remember. You don't know how to have a relationship yet. You've never had one. So you are going to have to be humble, and learn.