Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Help me understand this. She tells me at 6.30 pm that I can call her at the usual time, at 9 pm, but that she does not promise she will be able to get the call then because she will be busy preparing for work tomorrow, washing her hair, drying it, etc. I believe that part. Then she says if she cannot answer at 9 she will call me later when she is done. I tell her that we don't have to talk, I just want to have a chance to say goodnight. At 10.30 she texts me she is drying her hair. I text back saying OK I'll wait for you. Then nothing. I finally text her to ask her if she has gone to bed. She texts yes she has, she is exhausted. I believe that too. BUT WHY THE FUCK DID SHE NOT CALL ME OR TEXT ME SHE WAS GOING TO BED, GOODNIGHT. It would only have taken a second. Maybe she did not understand. But I thought I was clear. I don't know. She I feel she is blowing me off too often. On Thursday she answered my call at lunch and said she was busy and would call back in a sec. She called at 6 pm because she said she got caught up in lunch with her peers. Again, why not text me she changed plans. On Saturday she has a problem with her son. Why not text me and tell me that? WHAT IS HER PROBLEM? Is she just tired of me? Or she does not have good manners? She has done the lunch thing a few times, and only occasionally she texts me to tell me she is having lunch with her peers. Am I overreacting? Please explain to me tonight's behavior. It seems in all of these occasions she did not want to talk to me but she does not have the balls to tell me so she comes up with some way to fill up her time BUT DOES NOT TELL ME SHE WILL NOT CALL ME OR ANSWER THE PHONE. I have a hunch that this is a behavior she learned from being in two abusive relationships. Maybe these guys got aggressive when she wanted to do something different that what they expected so she learned to never say no. SHe just would not do it but would not say she would not do it. To avoid yelling and abuse. Or maybe she does not like me anymore. I am confused. Please help.
You may just have someone who is forgetful or not real organized and it may be nothing. Or she may feel smothered but be trying to back things off without saying something she's worried you could take wrong. Sometimes if you say "we're talking too much" the other person takes it as the brush off and runs so people learn to just delay the calls and things instead of taking the issue head on.
codependency forum -- great suggestion
Do you think that we should limit the number of phone calls we make to each other? I know you're busy, and I am too...
Gabriel, you need a new girlfriend. It's not "losing her"... it's "lost her". The hair excuse has been used since the 1950's to blow off guys.... Sorry about that. Because women take time to do their hair in the MORNING so it looks great, not at the end of the day (unless she's been out mountain biking and then she probably lets it air dry).
Look back at what happened between everything was great to gotta do my hair. SOMETHING came up, made her freak out... and it could be something in HER past.
But if it wasn't... if it was something you did and you see it, learn from it. Find out why and fix it... and make yourself incredible for the next girl who IS the right one.
The best relationships are the ones where the other person is your BEST FRIEND. {{HUGS}}