Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife said she wanted a separation in January. I was very devastated. For almost 3 months I was so sad, depressed, lost, hopeless, etc... I was walking on eggshells, always thinking before saying anything or doing anything in fear that what I say or do will push her even further away or confirm that leaving me was the right decision for her to make.
I begged and pleaded for her to give our marriage one more shot. I pretty much did everything I can possibly do to make her change her mind. She gave me glimpses of hope and at times made me think things were going to work out, only to be disappointed. It was the worst 3 months of my life. Many people here told me I was being treated very unfairly and I had to start respecting myself more and to focus on me and my well being.
Last Saturday night, I finally reached my breaking point and pretty much told her how I felt, how shitty she's been treating me and told her I was no longer going to tolerate being treated like shit anymore. I even told her to move out as soon as she can, because her still living at home just made a shitty situation even shittier.
The following Sunday was a little tough, but not as tough as I thought it would be. Fast forward 5 days later, I feel 100 times better than I did the past 3 months. I am now not holding on to false hope and no longer walking on eggshells. I stopped giving a crap about being careful of what I say or do, because in my book, our marriage is over. She made sure of that! I am not going to live my life being so afraid to be myself in fear of her leaving me. Being afraid or stressing out about your spouse leaving you is no way to live! Those of you belittling yourselves for her/him, are you sure that's the kind of relationship you really want to be in?
As sad as I am about the end of our marriage, I am 100 times happier now than I was the past 3 months.
My advice, don't be a doormat and start respecting yourself and have some dignity. You're only treated as poorly as you let them treat you.
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, support and in some cases a huge dose of reality check!
I begged and pleaded for her to give our marriage one more shot. I pretty much did everything I can possibly do to make her change her mind. She gave me glimpses of hope and at times made me think things were going to work out, only to be disappointed. It was the worst 3 months of my life. Many people here told me I was being treated very unfairly and I had to start respecting myself more and to focus on me and my well being.
Last Saturday night, I finally reached my breaking point and pretty much told her how I felt, how shitty she's been treating me and told her I was no longer going to tolerate being treated like shit anymore. I even told her to move out as soon as she can, because her still living at home just made a shitty situation even shittier.
The following Sunday was a little tough, but not as tough as I thought it would be. Fast forward 5 days later, I feel 100 times better than I did the past 3 months. I am now not holding on to false hope and no longer walking on eggshells. I stopped giving a crap about being careful of what I say or do, because in my book, our marriage is over. She made sure of that! I am not going to live my life being so afraid to be myself in fear of her leaving me. Being afraid or stressing out about your spouse leaving you is no way to live! Those of you belittling yourselves for her/him, are you sure that's the kind of relationship you really want to be in?
As sad as I am about the end of our marriage, I am 100 times happier now than I was the past 3 months.
My advice, don't be a doormat and start respecting yourself and have some dignity. You're only treated as poorly as you let them treat you.
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, support and in some cases a huge dose of reality check!
Then finally I took the courage to tell her a few home truths about herself
It was liberating
I still have to play diplomat until divorce is done ....and bite my tongue
It is the hardest part 1 1/2 years after separation
I haven't stood up for myself much, but I have taken control on a couple of things and said no, which he has taken pretty personal. He did admit to causing me immense pain, but still continues. Claims to be holding back on more of his emotions so as not to hurt me. But honestly, I can't get anymore broken about this than I already am.
May you always keep your head up and remember how good you feel now and continue in your healing.
Do I still want to have meaningful conversations? Sure, but unless she CLEARLY says that she no longer wants to separate and wants to work things out, I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing and feel good about myself. I think tomorrow I might ask her to remind me again how soon she will move out.
I'm sure she'd want to keep it because her maiden name is f'n horrible. Even she said she wanted to change it when she was younger.
it takes time to see above the water line, but once there, you start to wade, then swim and even surf after awhile.
ride' dem waves high