Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife said she wanted a separation in January. I was very devastated. For almost 3 months I was so sad, depressed, lost, hopeless, etc... I was walking on eggshells, always thinking before saying anything or doing anything in fear that what I say or do will push her even further away or confirm that leaving me was the right decision for her to make.
I begged and pleaded for her to give our marriage one more shot. I pretty much did everything I can possibly do to make her change her mind. She gave me glimpses of hope and at times made me think things were going to work out, only to be disappointed. It was the worst 3 months of my life. Many people here told me I was being treated very unfairly and I had to start respecting myself more and to focus on me and my well being.
Last Saturday night, I finally reached my breaking point and pretty much told her how I felt, how shitty she's been treating me and told her I was no longer going to tolerate being treated like shit anymore. I even told her to move out as soon as she can, because her still living at home just made a shitty situation even shittier.
The following Sunday was a little tough, but not as tough as I thought it would be. Fast forward 5 days later, I feel 100 times better than I did the past 3 months. I am now not holding on to false hope and no longer walking on eggshells. I stopped giving a crap about being careful of what I say or do, because in my book, our marriage is over. She made sure of that! I am not going to live my life being so afraid to be myself in fear of her leaving me. Being afraid or stressing out about your spouse leaving you is no way to live! Those of you belittling yourselves for her/him, are you sure that's the kind of relationship you really want to be in?
As sad as I am about the end of our marriage, I am 100 times happier now than I was the past 3 months.
My advice, don't be a doormat and start respecting yourself and have some dignity. You're only treated as poorly as you let them treat you.
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, support and in some cases a huge dose of reality check!
I begged and pleaded for her to give our marriage one more shot. I pretty much did everything I can possibly do to make her change her mind. She gave me glimpses of hope and at times made me think things were going to work out, only to be disappointed. It was the worst 3 months of my life. Many people here told me I was being treated very unfairly and I had to start respecting myself more and to focus on me and my well being.
Last Saturday night, I finally reached my breaking point and pretty much told her how I felt, how shitty she's been treating me and told her I was no longer going to tolerate being treated like shit anymore. I even told her to move out as soon as she can, because her still living at home just made a shitty situation even shittier.
The following Sunday was a little tough, but not as tough as I thought it would be. Fast forward 5 days later, I feel 100 times better than I did the past 3 months. I am now not holding on to false hope and no longer walking on eggshells. I stopped giving a crap about being careful of what I say or do, because in my book, our marriage is over. She made sure of that! I am not going to live my life being so afraid to be myself in fear of her leaving me. Being afraid or stressing out about your spouse leaving you is no way to live! Those of you belittling yourselves for her/him, are you sure that's the kind of relationship you really want to be in?
As sad as I am about the end of our marriage, I am 100 times happier now than I was the past 3 months.
My advice, don't be a doormat and start respecting yourself and have some dignity. You're only treated as poorly as you let them treat you.
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, support and in some cases a huge dose of reality check!
Focus on YOU.
Just get her out as soon as possible.
Focus on yourself and your kids. Plan things you enjoy doing.
I wish you the best of luck.
Karma is a bitch and it never fails to give back to the people who really deserve and you don't have to do a thing. They bring it all on their selves.
I am really glad to hear that you stopped carpooling though and made it clear she needs to move out sooner rather than later! Kudos to you on taking that big step forward.
@kbbcoop77, it's kinda scary how spot on you are. Unfortunately, everything you said that was going to happen did happen. You're like the Nostradamus of doomed relationships lol.
@loverofstories, I'm glad you were able to benefit from reading this thread. As sad as it seems, we are all here for pretty much the same reason and we are here to vent and support one another.
Anyway, I got a call from a family member asking me if everything is ok. Apparently, my wife, I should now call her my STBX, changed her relationship status on Facebook from married to nothing. Basically, she deleted her relationship status. I have not told anyone, except for 3 close friends about our pending separation. I'm just not ready to explain it yet, as I know lots of questions will be asked. So, I told this family member I have no clue and to just not worry about it. Am I hurt my STBX changed her status? Kinda, but too much. I shouldn't care, but for some reason, I still do. I know in time, I probably wouldn't give a shit about anything she does. Hope it happens soon.
Luck!
She managed to drive herself home.... I got home pretty late, around 8:30 and she was in my bed sleeping. I told her that I was really tired and wanted to go to bed and she needs to go to her room (guest room, but she's been sleeping there since she decided to separate). She asked since she was feeling sick if she can just stay in "our bed" for the night, because she doesn't feel like getting up. Not trying to be a jerk, but I said "no" and that she really should go to her room. She got up and went to her room.
I guess she made her bed, now she needs to lay in it (literally), right? I kinda feel bad, kinda, but figured she chose to separate, so she needs to deal with the consequences of her decision, right? I do feel bad, but I have to stay strong.