Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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JaniceHayes 02/27/2013

Last Friday, I went an retrieved the last of my things at my ex's house. We had an OK conversation. I know the break is hurting him too (although the break up is his decision) as he looked like crap and said, he had not been sleeping and is taking sleeping pills. I wished him well and told him there was no need for me to come back this Friday to retrieve any last bit of mail I might get there and told him to mail it to me. He asked if he could call and check up on me. I just shrugged my sholders like why, hugged him and left. Today is day 5 that we haven't spoken and it hurts. I used to talk to him 2 or 3 times a day. I wish I could say we had a bad relationship but we did not. I will have fond memories of him and all that we did together. So upset that it ended abruptly. I pray that I get over this. I want to call him so badly but, I believe I am doing the right thing by not contacting him. Just my thoughts, I will vent on here.
Thanks

deleted_user 02/27/2013

It's much easier to move on without the contact. I know it hurts, but it will hurt anyway. You're doing the right thing. We're here for you.

JaniceHayes 02/27/2013

In my heart of hearts, I want him back. I want him to feel what he is missing. You know that saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder or wander.

deleted_user 02/27/2013

It doesn't sound like he wants to get back together with you. By keeping contact, you're holding on to that hope, and it is hurting you. Don't hurt yourself any more. You can't go forward while looking back.

JaniceHayes 02/27/2013

reality is setting in, I guess I am still in shock

deleted_user 02/27/2013

You will probably go through that for a while. You can be getting along just fine, and then bam! a memory comes flooding back to you, and it will make you feel sad. Just know that it passes. Feel the hurt, then let it go. It will get easier with time.

deleted_user 02/27/2013

Yes shock is the first step. I was in shock for months. Please listen to my advice. Do not contact him. You will regret it. I contacted my ex last night after not seeing her for 14 months. She was on a dating website and it mad me jealous or just stupid. I called her and she hung up. It is hard knowing someone for 9 years and never seeing them again. I realize that her personality is toxic but boy it sure still hurts. I am dating again and god has a plan for each of us.
do not contact him. Move on. don't be like me.

deleted_user 02/27/2013

Hi Janice: You have to give yourself a reality check. My brain is screaming at you through the computer that going out with chicks and partying makes a guy look like crap and they don't get enough sleep--so it isn't about the breakup. Partying is hard on people and you're kidding yourself if you think he is losing any time since you are in his rear view mirror. And don't start making up excuses for him.

Like Cheryt said, it doesn't sound like he wants to get back together with you. He's just making nice with you so he can you out of his place without you beating the crap out of him. My ex wasn't so lucky and I hit him before I threw him out.

summerbabe88 02/27/2013

I know exactly how you feel, i contacted my ex and recieved no reply..it hurt so much! how could you throw away something so great? but you know what?...it makes us even stronger and more amazing for the next person to come along. if it help listen to this song..Mest- until i met you

JaniceHayes 02/27/2013

I am not going to contact him... I had a good cry tonight, I guess I needed that. It has been raining here for the last two days.. He is not a party person so, I do believe the break up has effected him. If he dates, then he will date and see what is out there.

ChiTownBear 02/28/2013

venting on here is good. and yeh, there will be those moments.

hang in there

JaniceHayes 02/28/2013

Thanks all, I know it will get better with time... I think the hard part is I am commuting 1 1/2 both ways and it is so hard not to think... I listen to music, xm, and etc, but, the thinking always gets in..

deleted_user 03/01/2013

'This too shall pass' always helps me through the moments of sadness, panic and lonliness. You will come through this. A break up is so much like losing a loved one to death... it's heartbreaking and traumatising.

You're doing really well. And you will come through this - acknowledge your emotions, cry as much as you need to and do something to make yourself feel better - whatever that might be.

I'm in a similar state of shock and sadness - I'm still in my first few days after break-up. Not feeling, or sleeping, great. :( You are not alone!

JaniceHayes 03/01/2013

Yes, this too shall pass.

deleted_user 03/01/2013

damn - i am right there, only more bitter & angry than missing her. i want her to try to contact me not so we can toalk, but because then i'll KNOW that she is missing me, and i want her to, becfause i want her to hurt. i want her to think about the role that she played in blowing this.

i know that's all vengefull, but its honest.

JaniceHayes 03/01/2013

Deertic49, I feel your pain. My mood and thoughts change with by the hour. One minute I do want him back, because we did have a good life. He planned our vacations twice a year. He took me and his mother to Bahamas first week of Feb. then right after we broke up. Not only that on Januaury 21st he sent me the iternary for our August vacation. He calls his mother everynight at 8 to make sure she is alright. Sees his dad once a week in the nursing home. Great father, takes his sons to FL for vacation every year. Does homework and etc. So, overall he is a very good man. Just I am not the one for him. My only complaint is how he handled the break up and what he said. I want him to hurt too and feel my pain. Then I just pray on it. We also joined a Church together.

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