Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Hating the holidays now.

Chris2016
Chris2016

The hits just keep on coming.


I am now going to be spending Christmas Eve alone.  And New Years Eve.  My wife, whom I am separated from, seems to think she is giving me a gift by inviting me over on Christmas day to see my daughters, and letting me see them on New Years Day.  I feel so weak.  5 days ago I was strong, and could handle her bullshit, but wave after wave after wave of it, not to mention the usual nonsense stress of everyday life, I feel bankrupt.  Empty.  And I have no idea how to get better, feel better, etc.  I have counseling weekly, group dbt weekly, another support group every other week, so I know my resources, distress tolerance skills, etc.  But I'm just out of gas right now, and I'm tired of trying to find more energy.

JewelB
JewelB
Take the tools that they have given you in group and use them. Can you exercise or do yoga? I am sorry you have to spend the holidays this way. Do you have family or friends you might want to visit?
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I am sorry for how you feel. It's a huge change. I know for me splitting kids is a huge adjustment. Last year we basically broke up right after holidays so it's been long process for me. At times I feel ok. Other times sad and lonely. I know I am often just with kids when we do stuff and it's sad at times. Other times I know for us it's been bad so long I am not sure why I feel sad. I hope all goes well with holidays. I know it's hard.
ohkaymusic
ohkaymusic
We could be in the same position, except for the kids and wife part. It almost feels worse not at least having those lol. I am filling my days with therapy also, but I think if you hang in there, you might get to a tolerance point. Seems like you've been aquatinted with a lot of coping skills, that's awesome! I've run out of gas too, so, tv and texting is the plan for the next little while. Hope this helps in some way :)
basnime
basnime
Coping with a new normal feels so scary and awful right now. If it is any consolation we are all here with you. I am relying heavily on family and friends right now. Reach out at any time!
Chris2016
Chris2016
Thanks for all of your comments. Family is a little difficult right now, and so I'm not sure I want to rely upon them for comfort or for a safe place. I know that it will get better if I can hang in, just need to somehow convince myself to do so. My daughters are the best thing on this planet, and my heart glows every time they are near - I need to keep remembering that somehow.
Koko
Koko
I spent Thanksgiving alone because my husband took the kids to his dad's. But I am allowing him to spend Christmas with them. It's not fair but I have to remember it is all about the kids...
jimthzz
jimthzz
If you make the kids feel like they are deprived of your presence, then they will feel that void. However, if you make a positive spin to it, and try to get more time surrounding xmas, not just on the actual day, it'll be a good holiday for you all.
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