Never been in court. Only experience is what I see on tv. I wish u the best of luck and for u to come out ahead.

Keep your head, tell the truth and let your lawyer do most of the talking. Don't interrupt the judge, don't roll your eyes over things your STBX might say, or over what his attorney says. The judge is probably very familiar with that attorney and the kind of people the attorney defends. Don't get defensive, don't embellish if questioned, say "yes" or "no" or "I don't remember". Let the evidence speak for itself and stay calm! It is okay to show emotion and to be nervous, but don't get angry, no judge likes that, and, let's face it...they are the "king of the castle" when they are on the bench.

Good Luck, let us know how it goes.

I wish you luck dear......I was in an abusive relationship 10 years ago......I was only married 3 months ...huge mistake....vegas wedding! My husband broke into my house after we separated and beat me to death.......i woke up to him standing over my body crying and i was full of blood.....with ambulance and police.....it was a nightmare.....he plead guilty to aggravated assault and did 3 years.....to this day he has been in and outa jail for the same incident keep haunting him......justice does work in some cases......being hit by a man is the worse thing in the world especially someone of which whom you trust your life with!
I pray for you today that you have your day!! keep us updated!

Keep your head up!!

My divorce finally came through after 23 months of battle and ALOT of court time. Do exactly as kmmp says. Be extremely respectful to the judge, dont speak unless spoken to, let your lawyer do all the talking, dont make eyes, get angry...be as calm as you can be. Every time you are in front of the judge look at it this way, one more step closer to the end! Good luck.

The first time in court is always scary, but it's not as bad as you think. Here are few tips:

1) Come prepared. Make sure you have all your evidence.
2) TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE. My ex didn't do this in our first hearing and his cell rang during his testimony. Really pissed off the magistrate (to my favor~lol).
3) Look at the judge or magistrate when you speak; it's important to establish eye contact with them.
4) No matter what the other side says, keep your emotions in check. I almost stumbled on this one, esp. when my ex's attorney started painting me as some crazy woman. I got visibly upset but my attorney calmed me down. Don't get me wrong, there may times you need to cry. I did--it's just natural. But don't become hysterical or overreact.
5) KMMP is right--keep your answers brief and succinct--don't embelish.
6) You pay your attorney--let her do her job.
7) Keep in mind that many judges have seen it all and heard it all. They know the attorneys and they've heard a million bullshit stories and can usually peg a liar right away. My attorney related a story to me when she and my ex's attorney were meeting with the magistrate: My attorney mentioned the affair and ex's attorney said, "We will never admit to any affair." The magistrate looked right at him and said, "Oh no, there was an affair." We had had only one hearing and she was able to discern that. Those judges are pretty smart.
8) Finally, expect some disappointment. Judges have to follow the law. If you live in a 50/50 state, it's 50/50--that's the law. I left my marriage with some debt--I didn't like that, but Ohio law says equitable distribution and I had more assets than my ex did. We had to balance things up a bit. I still made out better than he did (it was more a 55-45 split), but he didn't get the book thrown at him. I also had to drop the adultery grounds and go for incompatability. Didn't like that either, but realized it was time to quit fighting and move on.

I wish you much good luck in court. Remember, we will be sitting in that courtroom with you in spirit. When you get a little rattled, just imagine us all in the courtroom giving your stbx the finger~lol!

Hugs of strength!!!!

Four court hearings for me. Two of them post divorce. Everyone has given you great advice. Try your very best to show no emotion at all.In my county you don't have open court with everyone waiting for the judge to grant their divorce.

You have court time and your own court room with just you, the stbx if he is there and his atty. Much easier than an open court.

Try to sleep the night before. Watch the meds you take. Something to calm your nerves is okay but don't overdo it.Give yourself enough time to get to the court house so you don't feel rushed.

thank you my friends....omg, im so glad to have you all in my life....

Keep calm. The other lawyer is going to try to shake you up, try to get you to say or do something to discredit you.

Keep your mouth shut unless asked a direct question and keep it as short and to the point as possible. No rambling rant about how he's wronged you. Stick to FACTS. Emotional responses will only give his attorney the opportunity to paint you in a negative light.

He will likely try to either disprove the infidelity or will try to make you look like you are such a horrible person that your ex was reasonable in going outside the home for whatever... Be calm, don't let him make you mad.

When you are sitting beside your lawyer and he's on the stand, keep your mouth shut. No sighs, no making faces, no head shaking, NO INTERRUPTIONS OR COMMENTS. If he says something that your lawyer can cross-examine on write it down. Take a legal size pad with you. Write down anything that you can rebut. Don't make a show about writing it down, be quiet and be as subtle as possible.

It is perfectly acceptable to say "I don't recall". If his phrasing of a question is ambiguous or suggestive of something negative towards you (We call them "trap questions" where no matter how you answer it sounds bad) you need to have a very subtle signal for your lawyer that they can object to the question and request it be rephrased. If you don't understand the question, don't guess at what you think he means, ask him to repeat or rephrase the question. Don't be afraid to say "I'm not sure what you mean by that."

Generally, don't speak directly to the judge unless asked a direct question by the judge. Some judges get pissed when witnesses direct their answers to the judge rather than the person asking the question. They take it as you trying to influence them and is frowned upon. Ask your lawyer specifically about the temperment of the judge you drew for some ideas of what to avoid.

Oh WOW! I am impressed! how do you know so much about that? are you an attorney? it makes perfect sense. and soooo different than what i was planing in my mind: i was thinking to be able to narrate "our story" and all ive done for him in 20 years and how he paid me back...so it doesnt really go like that, huh?
we still dont have a court date and my lawyer is always so busy, but i hope she will brief me on what to expect before court.....thanks!

Great advice by all. Best of luck. It will be hard, but you'll get through it and once you do - you'll feel like a weight has been lifted from you. (Hugs)

Many have given great advice and information on court proceedings, unfortunately, I have never been to court outside of traffic court.]

I just wanted to wish you luck with it.

Stay strong. truth is on your side.

No I'm not an attorney.. I just work for them. :)

why does it take so much time to get anything accomplished? my attny is great but ive told her im done with the negotiations, i want to take him to court and thats it, why doesnt she just schedulke a date?

I don't know. in this state if you file a "fault" divorce claim you have to have depositions (where the attorneys grill oyu about all the reasons you want the divorce) and it turns into a "he said, she said" pissing contest.

I only went to court once so far, in my first divorce, but that was just a technicality that day, we had already signed the decree together, and she waived her right to go, so I just answered a few simple questions and it was over. I do have another date this month though that will be much different and I am a little nervous about it myself.

As far as the time goes, my STBX's lawyer scheduled a hearing for custody based on what she told him back in April, then once he and my lawyer spoke he cancled it. She hadn't told him the full truth, and when he realized it probably wouldn't go her way he pushed it, basically to give her time to better her situation, and hopefully give me time to screw up. Those lawyers are in it for the money, don't ever believe otherwise. And they will work together to make sure that nothing surprises them in court, which is opposite of what I beleive, I figure give her rope and when it's time hang her, not give her 3 months to figure out how to untie the knot. Good luck on your case, and please let us know how it goes. Mine is on the 26th of this month.