Just companion ship.. do things with, get dinner with, sit on a couch watching a show together, I guess more of just a female friend, Like I said, im sure most woman wouldn't want it, not very fair to them, but i dont think i could go any further right now, not wanting my wife back as bad as i do.

So where do you find the "not most women?" Is the question I suppose

Meaning ...where do you feel you can find this woman who can accept those terms?

No idea, probably a needle in the hay stack, i can only assume someone possibly in my same situation... I hven't explored this an an option, was just something i pondered, is it even appropriate? I dont know what my wife is doing or thinking, but even if she is hanging with someone else, doesnt necessarily make it right for me to do it.... doesn't make it wrong either. Im just searching for ways to cope and not feel so alone... ;o(

I understand. But why not ask her where she stands if you are worried about it being wrong? Its not always easy to talk to someone when you are divorcing and in my case especially about feelings but if it can get the awkwardness out of the way and help you out of your confussion then tell your wife you are simply contemplating it and ask her if she feels the same? If this isnt an option for you then perhaps you can narrow your search by exploring what is actually available because you cant find it without putting yourself in the haystack so to speak :-). Take care

@ESL...I guess I'm in a similar place - hurt, lonely, wanting my wife back. I am wondering similar things. If I can't have my wife back (and that now seems definite), then how do I stop hurting and pining for her and move on? Would companionship help? In what capacity? What am I ready for, not ready for? And for me, with a high libido, what am I willing to do and with what emotional and other risks? Where would I even find companionship? On-line dating? This thread has been enlightening on FWB or casual relationships, but that will be difficult for me and I'm afraid I'd still be left empty - wanting to be loved and to love. I don't think there are any right or wrong answers here, it is just good to know others are lost and trying to find themselves and facing loneliness issues too.

I did look into meetup.com to see if there was anything to do to just get out on the weekend, but I don't see much in my area other than some paid groups. You could check in your area.

It is difficult as I let all of my old friends drift away over our 12 years of marriage, and "our" friends is tough and awkward.

"wanting to be loved and to love".....well, you have to love yourself first instead of outsourcing to someone else. Like everything else, you get what you pay for.

Only today I was talking to 2 female FWBs who have adult daughters, they both unexpectedly told me that their daughters are having issues with their bfs. One has moved back home, and the other one is contemplating breaking up. The commonality here...

1. both from divorced homes

2. Both young

3. Both like many teenagers and young women out there, are used to getting things their way i.e. spoilt

4. attention span is short for young people of both gender

5. The cuteness/handsome novelty is worn out

6. They are getting a reality check.

FWB is the best arrangement for people that don't want any complications, and well of course those with hidden agendas will disagree because it doesn't provide them with what they are after i.e.

1. someone else looking after them
2. drama
3. making someone else do all the heavy lifting while they choose not to work
4. they can't hold you at ransom

wow @deltone. Pretty jaded view. I want more than FWB long-term, but not for any of the reasons you stated.

^ then good luck with that. What do you have at the moment? Just what i thought

I am far from jaded because my divorce was long done, and the whole thing was my idea and not because there was another woman. There obviously wasn't because am not shacked up with anybody.

My free weeks (non parenting) are put to good use, and yes you know what is happening come Fri evening? LOL

#36 - I think you sound like you should get out there and explore the world a bit - the only way to gain experience and adapt is by getting out there - you are not going to know what feels right and what doesn't if you don't venture out and try.

You mentioned you are concerned with feeling empty or still having a void as a result of having casual relationships or FWB - I'll say this - the feeling of emptiness if it's a concern, is something we have to address individually - we can't expect anyone to fill voids. I have felt very lonely inside a marriage and I have felt content solo - a label of status doesn't drive that. Also, is a new day, very few people are looking to date to fall in love - that isn't a process that just happens overnight and if someone comes at you w/the "I am so in love with you" BS - RUN!

You sound hurt - perhaps you should attend to your self healing first before you try to get out there because no one wants to deal with a person who isn't in good spirit whether that's a FWB, a GF or whatever - if you aren't attending counseling, look into it.

Also, many on here keep confusing the term FWB - it is not necessarily associated with an old time FRIEND - doesn't mean you'll hook up with a friend or coworker or whatever - it simply means, you go online, you meet people and you discuss what exactly they are looking for and go from there. It is a casual setting where people are having sex without the commitment, drama, etc. And like the other poster said - there are tons and tons of people out there open to this - it's bizarre to me how some are so outdated about this - have ya'll not see all the sites that are out there for casual encounters and affairs - you all really think that in 2015 people are still associating sex with romance, a connection a relationship ETC?

Do you all live under a rock? - madness - LOLOLOLOL

Well if people are content with giving their body away for a simple pleasure then go for it. I like to involve all my senses and not just sexual ones so if you are an updated version on how you want aomeone to treat you as a casual sex fling....go for it but dont badger someone to become like you just because they dont fit your mold eh.

#41 - you feel like anyone that has posted has implied that you have to become anything/anyone you are not or fit a certain mold?

I believe the poster had some questions/concerns on the matter and he's getting a mixture of replies which is the point of a forum.

Live and let live - do whatever brings you not just contentment, but peace. Don't take any posting personal - It's all in good spirit and with the intent to learn.

Well dont laugh and call them outdated and i wont come to their defense

I have no problems with different opinions and especially yours milly jay. I actually find that yours are actually refreshing because i enjoy honest people like you.

Don't laugh? - laughter is therapeutic - sorry, my style, laid back - life isn't to be taken so serious and uptight, that's just me.

To their defense? - It was an attack? - sorry, not my style.

Yes, the concept FWB has been around for a gazillion years and it is shocking to me that some folks aren't up to par with something that's invading our world just like online dating. Just because we don't support a certain lifestyle, seems to me that with some much information out there folks would be more up to speed and not outdated - but hey - that's my outlook - keep yours, I respect it.

HOPE NO ONE FELT OFFENDED BY WHAT I SAID, BUT IF THAT WAS THE CASE, MY MOST SINCERE APOLOGY.

I seek to have enlightening, uplifting and informative exchanges, never to offend.

Enjoy your evening :)