Um... I appreciate multiple perspectives and am thankful for your posts. I don't appreciate people being critical of other people's posts. Please stop bashing other people and please keep expressing your opinions as such. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.

I think it makes sense to be cautious and understand the physical and emotional risks to seeking a non-committed partner. I am wondering if it will help me move on and perhaps build some confidence, but also wondering if I would become attached and want it to be more, or if I'm even capable if there isn't a deeper trust and relationship. I appreciate the perspectives offered.

@mlewis....how else are you going to know unless you try? The key is to stipulate the intent from the get go with the other party. My current FWB flat out told me that she is not looking for anything serious, and it doesn't get any better than that for me, as she is not exactly someone I'll want to live with for a number of reasons.

However, she likes the fun we have and enjoys my company and actually pays for stuff as opposed to it just being 1 way.

@deltone....when did i attack? Please specify how this is all my fault?

Are you still talking?????

Are you?

You have a good night deltone :-)

@mlewisct - Do you have anyone in mind? If so, maybe you could start by casually flirting through text. Then maybe make plans to hang out, and ease into the sexual aspect of it. If at any stage you realize it's not for you, you can easily pull back without hurting the other person.

Even the flirtatious texting can help with the mind wandering because you can fantasize about what it might be like hooking up with that person rather than think about your ex.

http://lenked.com/blog/why-are-friends-with-benefits-on-the-rise

The arrangement is on the arise but no, it isn't for everyone just like chocolate ice cream isn't for everyone.

Does it work? - Yup, for many people. This is a new day and relationships are changing, marriages are lasting less time, cheating is on the rise, technology has taken over, online dating is the almost only way to meet people, etc.

In my opinion, it doesn't matter where you live, staying on top of what's going on in the world is accessible to everyone. Certain things may not be for us but we don't dictate changes and in some cases if we don't update ourselves we will be the ones missing out.

Is like I often tell people - online dating is taking over - the longer you remain close minded about it, the longer you'll be alone. For those who aren't pressed for a relationship, this doesn't matter but when that chances and they are ready, if their only option is to meet people in public places, they are going to have a tough time with that.

But to each it's own - some people are perfectly happy with how they thing and live and to me we should live and let others live - respect and embrace everyone's outlook. :)

"Does it work? - Yup, for many people. This is a new day and relationships are changing, marriages are lasting less time, cheating is on the rise, technology has taken over, online dating is the almost only way to meet people, etc. "

There you have it, and exactly the point I was making up thread.

@mlewisct....jessaheart has a point with the flirtatious texts. Some of mine started off like this, and before you know it, the other person is sexting you pics of them in a provocative manner i.e. at their desk at work, around the house, etc asking you what you think and what they will like to do to you.

If you are good with innuendos, introduce that to break the ice before going all out. For example, a mention of the word 'hard', can be turned into a different conversation e.g, yes something is alright :-)

I don't have anyone in mind. I guess I could try online dating, but it seems off if I'm not whole. On the other hand, it may be a good venue to indicate from the start that you aren't looking for long-term (or am I?)

I have to get my head on straight.

Then there is the pity party thinking... Who will be interested in a 50-yo 5'4" slightly overweight guy? I'm surely not tall, dark and handsome.

#25 - "everything you want is on the other side of fear" - this is my favorite quote - stop thinking so hard and start living.

There is someone out there for everyone - do not be or create your own obstacles.

Best wishes to you :)

My thoughts on the subject... I've watched a lot of freinds have fwb type situations and in my experience I've seen a lot of feelings get hurt.. I've had one or two and I've found it to be very confusing bc it's natural to develope some feelings for a person when your having sex..its a very intimate thing... I've ruined a relationship with a girl a cared a lot about doing this... I think a better way to go about it is to just find someone that's not looking for anything serious and make it more than just sex, say you don't wanna define the friendship but I think the main thing is to make it clear that your honest with each other if u wanna date or see someone else... And tell them before it happens not after... Be classy about it, there are still feeling involved no matter what anyone says... I've had a relationship like that and it actually did help me move on and we were able to remain freinds after we both met other people... In my opinion a real relationship is much more satisfying though, and u don't have to commit to anyone right away other than being respectful... That's my opinion, Hope any of that helps

This topic is interesting to me, although im in a very different stage, its only been 3 weeks since she asked for seperation, im devistated, heartbroken and feel completly emotionally abandoned. I really have no interest in sex, and am very aware its way to soon for me to even consider another woman. I love my wife dearly and want nothing more then her back. but im still feeling alone and have wondered if trying to meet someone for a more emotional connection to help me get by? I know this would be completly unfair to them and could potentially lead to hurting them or even my own situation more. Its not an avenue ive explored, but have wondered if I should? The last thing i want is to make things with my wife worse, but im not sure how long i can manage this feeling of being alone..... Thoughts?

@ESL....so what do you think your wife is doing with the same thoughts? Nobody is saying go out there and commit to anything, but it sure can't hurt to have someone to help ease some of the pain.....

You will be surprised at the number of people out there just looking to get laid, or someone to bang them without the added strings attached.

Well being that you said you have no interest in sex....what type of relationship do you feel would help you fill the emotional void?