I did see on your other posts that you lost both of your parents this year. I think that you haven't finished grieving yet? Losing a parent (or both) can definitely give someone a feeling of loneliness, a need to connect with someone on a meaningful level... etc. All kinds of feelings will come up.

FWB's are not a real relationship. and they are only temporary. Usually until one person finds someone else to date toward forming a more serious relationship.

Give this some time.... you two may still be able to be just friends. Leave her alone for at least a week. In the meanwhile, maybe look into some grief counseling and possibly co-dependency counseling. Best wishes.

Thank you for commenting. I do feel like i need some sort of counseling, For me it's difficult taking those first steps into it, I just want these feelings and emotions and grief to be over with already. I"m trying to convince myself that I need to keep moving and stop feeling this way, I want it but can't seem to go for it yet.

I agree you need to let her go learn about herself, and you really need to work on yourself.
You need to go experience the world without attachments. You need to get your life goal list in order and you need to grieve the loss.
FWB is really just that, someone will always lose in the end, someone gets feelings and then the other wanders off.
Work on your healing and yourself.

I feel like even in my past relationships and friendships I have always been the one to lose. I am tired of feeling this constant hurt, I know most of the time it’s coming from my own head and I’m my own worse enemy. I do feel like I want some sort of cleansing and healing within myself but I get so impatient and just want it to be over with already so I can be happy.

Again, I would suggest reaching out to a therapist. You don't like how you feel now. A therapist can guide you to feeling better and helping yourself become better for the long term. It's worth a try, don't you think?

I have a therapist for my anxiety and she has helped me a lot. I hope you will give it a try. You've gone through a lot, and with losing both parents, and sometimes we all need to reach out for some professional help.

Hello. I’m sorry you are going through such a hard time. The pain of loosing someone you love is immeasurable, but you’re doing the right thing by reaching out. Or maybe that’s just what I keep telling myself lol. Either way, I hope your situation improves.

You have a different attachment style than she does.

The four child/adult attachment styles are:
Secure – autonomous;
Avoidant – dismissing;
Anxious – preoccupied; and.
Disorganized – unresolved.

Just google attachment styles. It's a very interesting subject and drives alot of our instinctive behaviors.

Yes, you need to love yourself...but if you didn't know how to do this before...how are you going to do this now? Maybe you weren't taught how to really love in a healthy way? Maybe you were taught to love people much longer then was healthy for yourself.

There's lots of material on the internet that you can read and learn from. Many articles are written by psychologist and people suffering from the same issues. This will help you.

Many times we gravitate towards partners who somehow reminded us of our parents. In your case...someone who might not have always been there either physically, emotionally...leaving you as a child...longing for their approval or attention.

So you work harder...give more...stick around when you really shouldn't because deep down you're trying to recreate that relationship dynamic in your current partners, and finally secure the love/affection you always wanted as a child.

Good luck on your path...at least you're ahead of the game by looking inside, trying to self reflect and deal at a much younger age before it becomes a lifelong pattern and leaves you with a string of heart breaks and disappointments...which might drive you into addictive behaviors to cope.

Bravo...sending you light and love.