*bear hug*

. "There's a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over--and let it go. It means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out."

-Ellen Goodman

HUGS TO YOU!!

Sending you a big hug let yourself grieve
Your losses. I can still cry and i am a year
Out and its still painful and it hurts. I still
Ride the emotional rollercoaster.

Hugs

mirandac

Sending many thoughts and prayers. Now you can work on healing but its an emotional process. Take gentle care.

When I was 18, I married the village idiot. He turned out to be a very abusive alcoholic, who beat me up regularly and tried to kill me once. I was lucky to get away from him. When I did, he immediately disappeared. I had no money for a divorce, so I just moved on with my life. Two years later, I was in a position to get one so I got a lawyer. We tracked him down in another state. He offered zero resistance to the divorce. We had had no contact whatsoever for two years, but the day I got the papers, I saw his signature on them and broke down in tears. I was stunned at my own reaction. I went home, ate a cheesecake, listened to sad songs, cried my eyes out and went to bed. The next day, I awoke with a brand new attitude. It was over and I was free!

I read somewhere once that divorce is not celebrated as a milestone in people's lives, even though it is. It's just as important as being declared cancer-free or achieving something you've been working on for years. One article I read had a great suggestion. It said don't think of it as a divorce. Think of it more as a graduation ... the completion of an education, of one phase of your life and the moving on to another phase ... and celebrate it as such! One of my friends even had a divorce party when her papers came in.

I know today will be rough for you. Let yourself grieve. Tomorrow will be a better day. :-)

I am scared of that moment. I hold out hope we can recover. But I fear I will get it and break down and cry. Not that I don't every day now.

So that aside. It is now over. Hard word OVER. But you can now have a new beginning. Make it good, make it fantastic make it spectacular!

I am dreading that moment if and when it comes to me. The longer things drag on, the worse I think that moment will be, because I have so much time to dwell on it.

Send hugs your way.

I like the idea of re-framing this legal ending into a graduation, the start of a new future.

I had a few tears in my eye when I got the first piece of legal paper with our names on it, ala Kramer vs Kramer, just because it was proof that other people now knew, It was official. There was no pretending it wasn't happening.

Take your time in healing, and celebrate your new beginning. Be well Chris.

I am with all of you guys on your sentiments on the final decree. I initiated the divorce but I think inside I hoped he would change and we could be ok. Even after everything...how often do you have to forgive infidelities?

I know this is the best move I can make to stop being a doormat but I also know that the end of a marriage will not go by painless.

Like jojo, it hurt when i was served with the papers. It hurt when he started texting and going out with someone else when he was asking for marriage counseling. It hurt to finally realize he never loved me. It hurt that I paid him my paycheck to watch his kids and take care of all the things he did not want to do.

I am so sorry Chris. I meant to tell you hugs and I think I will be in your same position one day. I just got side tracked thinking about how your situation will feel when I am there.

Please tell us how you are doing now.

**Hugs Chris**

Yeah.. The first time I looked at it was back at the end of March. It's such a cold, cold document. After all the things that go into a wedding, you get the opposite. It's like a baseball bat made of paper that bashes everything to pieces so small, you can't tell what it was. I actually had to look at it again this morning, because I'm trying to get a bank account, and I may need that document. I hate looking at it, especially the first page with the names on it. I'm very, very, sorry Chris. It is painful, but we got your back. :)