Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Fiance just dumped me

sadbutrue
sadbutrue
Hello everyone. I am new here. My fiance just dumped me. I am feeling hurt, angry, devastated, used, abused, betrayed and every other emotions you can think of. How can someone go from I love you, I want to have your baby, I want to marry you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. After she said all that to me. I went out and got her a diamond engagement ring and proposed. She happily said yes. A month and a half went by. She said calls and tells me that she wants to end our relationship and discontinue even beings friends. I was totally devastated, crushed. A week went by I sent her an email stating that I have a released her of all her empty words and promises. She replied wow that was harsh. You are not even going to put up a fight for me? I said ok I will. She said that she still loves me but just in a friendly state. She said she does not want me out of her life. A week went by and all my friends think that she is seeing someone. I called her and she confessed. Wows she still has my ring and sleeping with someone else and keeping me as option B. I wish I can cry it out. Being a man I only cried inside all the time now. I wish all this hurt inside can disappear. Help me friends.
LostNFound3
LostNFound3
What should you do? Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the loss of the relationship and your dreams of a future together. Then, gradually, let the healing balm of time work and it will get better little by little.
tcl18
tcl18
kbcop comment "No one who loves you would do this. " This is a great reminder to those of us who have been cheated on to help put things in perspective when we wonder if we did the right thing. I really need to hang on to these words.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sad - You stated, "Even when I should not. Why should you mourn someone that is still alive?"

Here's the thing, someone HAS died. The person you thought your fiance' was. In your heart and mind, that person was a living, breathing reality. Just as real as the now cold uncaring female human that inhabits her body. As heartbreaking as it is, and for whatever reason, she is gone. Not only should you morn her loss, you must.
sadbutrue
sadbutrue
Ardent, you are so right. I asked her what happened to the woman who wanted to have my baby, who wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, who wanted to marry me? Her replied was, she is dead. Yes the person that loved me is dead. I am mourning her each and every day. Every day I have to force a smile on my face. Every day on the inside I am devastated but not completely. I have cried only once and I believed it cause by the drinking. I really want to cry lots of time but the tears just don't come out. I am suppressing my feelings I guess. I am at the anger stage I would say. My thoughts are of driving there and demand my ring back and return all the things she ever bought me. At the same time I don't want any confrontation. It might lead to some serious altercations that might involve someone being serious hurt. So I am not going that route. I will just mail her belongings to her and politely ask for my ring back. Thanks for your prayer and ears my friends.
sadbutrue
sadbutrue
18 Days since our last contact. I'm guessing she is feeling extremely guilty about what she has done. She email me " I'm so very sorry " I told my friends and family and they said to not respond. I responded with this. I said don't be sorry. What's done is done. Where is my ring? This email from her has sent my recovery process way back. I am now feeling much more hurt. Help me heal my friends. Thanks
murphytoronto
murphytoronto
Ah yes...Every contact rips off that scab and starts the bleeding again.

Your response was fair..

Try and get back to No Contact
stressed12
stressed12
It does take time but it does get better. Each person is different. I am female and I could not stop crying. That time may kick in for you soon. Something might set it off not related to her. Letting it out means you are starting to heal.
It was a bit unusual but I didn't have much anger. I was ready for the relationship to be over but did not realize it. I had been angry for years so I think I just had the intense sadness. I did have some anger and used it as energy to pack up his stuff. We were together 12 yrs and it has now been 3yrs and we don't speak and he doesn't see his son and we pretty much never did after he was gone after a bad fight. He had some depression and other issues and simply ran away.