Hi and welcome to the board. Sorry you are going through this. I know it hurts. Your profile says you are 23, so I am guessing this was your first love. Which is going to be so challenging to get over it, but very few people stay forever with their first relationship. Did you give up your friends while you were in this relationship? Because you are going to need them now. Contact them, even if it has been awhile. Contact family. You need to spend time with other people. Get out of the house. Figure out what you want to do now with your life. School, work, where do you want to live ultimately, etc? I know this is soooo hard. But you learned what most of us go through - what we DON'T want in a relationship. Sounds like he wasn't the greatest anyway and then he just leaves.... gee thanks. Cliché' to say, but you are very young... and you are now free to move on to a much better, more fulfilling life. You will get there.

Hello and I agree with the other two ladies whole hearted. I know you do not see the good in this storm yet but trust with age and growth you will. Be thankful you guys had no children or businesses together. Now you are free to date you and gain power back over your life.... I say get a gym membership or start by taking a walk in the park or a peaceful place to think and reflect and allow for time to heal and move on....you will be grateful for this break up later...

Hi. Sorry to hear you are going through this. I know how hard it is when your partner just leaves. In the past, I have tried, multiple times, to fix those types of relationships only to have the same thing happen again. It was definitely more hurtful after it happened the second and third time because I felt duped in addiction to being hurt and rejected. I have learned the hard way that if a man is not willing to work to resolve conflicts and fight for the relationship, he is not the right person for me, long term. I think you deserve better. I hope suggest spending time with family or friends or pursuing a hobby to help take your mind off the relationship. Things will get better with time. Hugs!

move on ,dont focus on him anymore,simply look at him as a past event .im my country uganda,i married my high school long time friend,everlyn,after the wedding she stayed with for only one week ,i later on knew it that she had eloped with another man ,it pained it ,but i had to move on ,do the same .mine was too much ,because it was a legalized relationship .

Hey gv14 hello there baby. Let me call you baby cause you are too young compared with me. Move forward and stop thinking about him. Is not worthy at all. You said that he was talking bed about you and wasn’t the best boyfriend all that time. So why do you have to think then about him? Do you have kids or something else in common? If not just forget about him and move forward. You are to young to hurt your self and stuck with a guy who is not worth it and doesn’t appreciate you. I am sure you can find a better one .

Hello everyone! I really appreciate the advice that you guys have given me. It has really has helped me and I will remember all that you guys have said whenever I'm feeling weak. Just to give you a guys a bit more insight on the relationship, we were together for almost 5 years, we have no kids or businesses together. He was living under my roof. We had good moments together, but when things got bad they would get really bad because he was always so unstable. One minute he would want to be together, and the next he would want nothing to do with me. He was very disrespectful, but I put up with it because he was my first love and literally the only friend that I had because I shut everyone off just to dedicate myself to him. I'm learning that was a huge mistake and now I'm slowly trying to rebuild myself and I'm trying to spend time with those that I lost touch with. Hopefully they let me back into their lives. I will focus more on myself and really take the time to decide what I want for myself. I just graduated college and I'm currently looking for jobs, hopefully I find something soon so I can get my mind off of things. But thank you guys, I really appreciate you guys taking the time to show some support!

I have gone through something similar and I feel very one to. I lived with my ex and when she decided it was over she sold the house and I had to find my own place. I knew most of her family and friends.. so I spend most of my time alone. I wish I had an answer but I don't. You are young and you will find some one relo

I have gone through something similar and I feel very one to. I lived with my ex and when she decided it was over she sold the house and I had to find my own place. I knew most of her family and friends.. sort I spend most of my time alone. I wish I had an answer but I don't. You are young and you will find some one relo

I got marriage to my husband young and its been about 15 years,. He does have a hard time showing that he love me. I love my husband and I am a person that love to kiss and be held, but out of 15 years I can count on one hand how many times he has kissed or held me. He thinks sex is the fix all, granted I love having sex with him, but because of the way I have been feeling I have not been in to it as much as I should. I have tried to tell him how I feel and he always tell me if I give him more sex he would kiss and hold me more, but it always end up with him getting what he wants. Truth please am I reading to much into this should I just let it go.

lostinutah, yes it really does suck especially when you get use to doing everything with them. But hang in there and so will I!

just229lost, I never really experienced that with him unless if he was upset or I was. But I think that you should make him understand that those things matter to you. You cant keep giving him what he wants, especially if he doesnt give you what you want. As much as you love having sex with him, you should not give him any until he satisfies your needs. it will only get worse if that issue doesnt get fix and if it keeps bothering you. I am a very affectionate woman, so that would also bother me. Try going to couples counseling if that is possible. Let me know how that goes!

Hi gv14! Welcome to DS :).
I'm glad to see you're getting so much support and kind words here. It is admirable that you dedicated that much time and focus towards your first love, I cannot fault you for that. My first love, I was 19, and to be honest, it took me a decent amount of time (1-2 years) to fully heal, move forward. Part of my heart will always love that person, but it has healed and moved forward at the same time.

It's great to hear you're trying to reconnect with those you've lost touch with while being in this relationship. Forgiveness is very powerful, very healing, seeking to re-establish these friendships, spend time with friends and family, you will accomplish that, they will see your intentions are genuine, and that you're wanting to make up for lost time, and that you need support and I'm sure they will give it to you. You're on the right track!. I agree with the others, taking a walk, starting a gym membership or home workout (even if it's only 20 minutes, 3x a week), it can be healing, make you stronger, and it does help sort out your emotions and thoughts during this break up.

Journaling also helps a lot, even being outside and reading a good book or magazine and just enjoying the moment helps as well. If you have pets, of any furry kind, they can be very healing and joyous to spend time with as your healing from the break up.

And the others are right, it's great that you realize what you DONT want in a relationship, that is just as important to realize and acknowledge as much as it is to know what you DO want in a relationship and with another person. I'm looking at my second divorce so I'm no relationship expert, however, it took me until 28 to answer God's call, to realize what I do and do not want in a relationship, to get rid of all the toxic relationships in my life, and simply move forward and onward.

Keep moving forward, keep talking, seek the support, you will get through this. *hugs!*.

Yes creatiivemiind, I really appreciate them for that because listening to all of these words had really helped me get by. I gave him my all and only recieve so little in exchange. The worst part is that he left me when I needed him the most because I was and still am going through a tough time. I am doing that slowly, but first I'm focusing more on myself and on advancing my career because that's really important to me. I've been able to get closer to my mom, which was a relationship that was dwindling when I was with that person. Yes I'm really trying to start working out again to feel that strength that I once had. I agree! reading has helped me a lot these past couple of days, in a way i feel relieved that i have this time to myself. I really want a dog, but I'm trying to get a full time job so I wouldn't have any time for the pet :( I'm glad that I still am young because now I have the experience to seek better. I'm sorry to hear that, I really hope things work out for you in the end, with your positivity im sure they will. Yes same goes for you love! good luck! :)

I was going to response but you have a ton of great advice here. Sounds like you are doing great and starting to move on. You are young (I'm jealous) and sounds like you have a lot to offer someone. Just be the best you, believe in you, expect respect, caring, and understanding and you'll be great!

I wanted a dog to but didn't get one till I was 30. So you will take her time.