Maybe it is in realizing that you deserve better than someone with major faults.

Because no one is perfect.

We are ALL flawed one way or another.
What someone considers major faults/flaws... could be perceived as a minor fault/flaws by the next person.

Now what and how much are you willing to put up with is the real question here.

Like others said here, my partner turned into a completely different person six months into our relationship. It was like night and day and I was completely floored. I even had to question whether I was dealing with a split personality or not. And even though this person was an angry, irrational and unstable human being, and, in fact, a sociopath, I stayed. Because I thought, also irrationally, that I could save him. Surely all it would take was love and consistency and I could heal this wounded and hurting soul, right? No. There are some things you cannot heal. No matter how much love you have.

And in that I am flawed -- besides all the other trappings of being human -- too overly responsible, overly optimistic. These are not good things. To have a partnership and a healthy relationship you need to be equally matched. I'm doing the work now. My ex is not. In his eyes, I am the one with the problems who left him because I was bitter.

So once I thought yes, if he is with me, he will be better. I can do that. But now I know, you can't change anyone. The only person responsible for one's behavior is yourself. The sooner you realize that the better off you'll be.

Because we can fix them. We look to them to ersolve something about ourselves.

"resolve"

I ummmm....

leave the toilet seat up.

I think what it comes down to is the severity of the flaws, and how the individual deals with them. Are they in control of their faults, or do their faults control them?

Myself, i'll know when i'm ready when i'm in control of my demon (depression) and it does not control me. A partner will help strengthen that resolve, but not have to carry me. I could do the same for her and her flaws. If the flaws are in control though, they would drag the other down. Just my take on this.

Make sense? I hope so... considering i'm coming off the worst weekend i've had in months!

Ok im probably going to go off on a tangent here but.....

Why do so many use the term "you deserve better, I deserve better etc."


I think everyone deserves the best this life has to offer. NO ONE asks for brokenness or hurt, or even seriously fucked up issues. We are all beautifully flawed. And human.

What Kimmee said is so true. Sometimes it is easier to focus on someone else's faults and try and help them therefore we can avoid dealing with our own.
Guilty.