It happens way more than one would think...I was being abused and didn't realize it until someone outside the family pointed it out to me..... and WOW yep been there......

http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

symptoms....and yep, I lived it, too... (((((LLMT))))

What is the difference between emotional abuse and let's say...calling someoneone on their sh*t? Or, "feedback" and critism? There are a whole slew of things that I may interpret as "abusive", and someone else would not, so where's the line?

I think the "cycle of abuse" box is really helpful (scroll down)....especially the denying it happened..

Left far deeper wounds than the physical abuse. It was the emotional abuse that was so hard to fight through and heal from.

I lived it for 20 years...

Yeah...i've been there too. Didn't know it, or want to see it for a long time.

That cycle WAS my life....

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem? All the time

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself? You dumb hillbilly

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups? Didn't see some family members for 20 + years even though they were just minutes away.....

Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources? NOT WORK but controlled all cash flow

Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle? All Debt was put in my name.....

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close? I was her one and only when she wanted something.....other than that stay away ....

Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it? No She just with held sex

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship? DUH

so thanks for opening my eyes a little more..... as I am starting to see Clearly now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkwJ-g0iJ6w

(((((pemd)))))

((llmt))

I lived it too...and the thing is, it can be so subtle, so insidious, that the victim often questions their own reality.

I actually had some vindication today. My lawyer never wanted me to go through the he did this and then that kinda stuff- he just wanted the legal stuff and wasn't being paid to be my friend. (understandably). After court today, he took me aside and asked me if the ex was very emotionally abusive and said that he needs to take some anger management classes. This was while the ex was trying to play the victim himself, so was trying to act the nice guy. But my lawyer saw through it- and just having that acknowledged from someone on the outside was huge for me.

I've read your journals, and it sounds very much like your ex is emotionally abusive. It's very difficult to recover from, but it's doable!

EFFECTS
OF LONG-TERM EMOTIONAL & VERBAL ABUSE
ON THE VICTIM

...Withdrawal from real life into an Internet alternative reality


OK , so how do we know if even being HERE is healthy? WHAT IS HEALTHY?? 1 hour, 20 minutes... WTF

LOL, summers Eve!

LOLOL I'm SO F'ING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!! Someone help me ~ tell me what is healthy and I will do it!!!!

SE...hahaha!

I hear ya!!!! LOL