I'm going to play devil's advocate for a second and just point out that men are not mind readers. Did you ask him to watch a movie with you? Did you try to spark up a conversation with him? Because otherwise, how would he have known that you wanted those things? What do you say when you ask him for attention?

I'm just saying, it's not really his job to entertain you and chase away your boredom. Maybe he was bored just sitting around with you as well, and was waiting for you to suggest something to do.

First off yes I did make it clear I wanted him to spend time with me. Second, I never started that people, or men in particular, are mind readers. Third, I didn't say I wanted to be entertained. If I did I would have went to a circus. Jeez. What's with the comments today? I thought this was a support group? What's wrong with everyone on here tonight? I'm merely trying to express my feelings and say that I WANT my boyfriend to spend time with me instead of his phone or whatever... Jesus, I don't get why that so complicated? Maybe it's because I used the word attention? I mean attention as in hello, notice me! Talk to me! Sit with me. Hold me. Cuddle me. ANYTHING. Why is everyone being so dam rude on this app? Because I'm sad that our relationship isn't the same and he doesn't care to spend time with me? I'm done seriously. This group is a joke. Second time I've posted and vented about my feelings and got nothing but rude comments or better yet in my last post I was attacked.

Just wondering... wonder if anyone knows what it feels like to have to BEG your partner to care about you. When your crying, sad, depressed... that person could care less- yeah that's my point, why should I have to beg.

You were extremely rude.

Period.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved.

We're trying to tell you you can't make someone love you, cuddle you, pay attention to you.

If you're not happy, break it off.

And this is breakups and divorce, not romantics anonymous.

You're getting honest replies. You don't like it.

No one here can tell you how to get attention from someone who's unable or unwilling to give it.

You shouldn't have to beg.

So break it off.

If someone really cares about you, they will make time for you. I'm in a similar situation now with a woman who only gives me the time of day when I tell her I'm walking away. When I'm dumb enough to come back, I get put on the back burner and all I get is excuses. Enough is enough! We should be with people who value our time and attention. If you have to ask for his attention, he's not the right one for you, sweetheart.

Thegrincth,
Break it off with this guy, he doesn't deserve you or your time. If he was interested he would make time for you. The sooner you accept that you are worthy and special and your valuable time should be with someone who loves and appreciate you, the better it will be. Do not waste any more of your time, the right guy for you is out there waiting, stop wasting your time with this jerk. Break it off with him, so you can take care of yourself and eventually you will be in a better place. All the best, and I am sending hugs to you.

I think maybe my message was a little too forward, and I apologize for that. My intention certainly wasn't to attack you, only to give it to you straight. What you describe sounds like a pretty common issue. I know I've certainly expected my boyfriend to read my mind a time or two--lesson learned--so that was the experience I was speaking from.

What I *should* have said is that relationships should be mutually beneficial--you both bring something enjoyable for one another to the table. If one of you, or neither of you are getting that out of the relationship, then it's just a drag to be in.

My legitimate advice to you would be to not let your happiness be dependent on what he is or isn't doing. If he doesn't bring something positive to your life, then it's not worth it. No, you shouldn't have to beg.

as obvious as it seems to you that he is not giving you the attention you need, it is possible he needs to be told bluntly just how hurt you feel. He could very well have become complacent and needs to hear from you, clearly, how bad you feel things are

As I've stated before I have already expressed my feelings and concerns. He just doesn't seem to care

I have a couple ?? For thegrintch.

That would be really hard to feel like you are not getting the attention that you desire. Relationships are hard, communication with respect is key, and if that is not happening, things can be even harder. I hope that you find what you are looking for. Praying for wisdom to guide your choices.

I feel you; married to someone who does not validate my feelings or depression; does not hug or touch me or want to have sex with me since January 1 this year and he said things like "We hate each other so why would we have sex." Well, I never said I hate him...so he must be the we in hate each other. Called him on it and he said well we go to couple therapy so must be high conflict and it is stress. Dropped out of marriage therapy -- my call and he made the decision and email to therapist so did that after 7 sessions. It was my feeling the therapist got check each week and we would fight more in car there, office there, on ride home and all week long; periods would be ignoring each other or trying to follow the rule of therapy "What we are responsible for what is wrong in marriage and what we each said we would do to be better partner based on what other person needs." WELL THIS WAS BS SINCE HE LIED, DID NOT FOLLOWS RULES AND SAID YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS . I have bipolar 2 and depressed some days; other days moody; other days ok. I never knew that was me until DEPRESSED SO MUCH FOR 10 months in 2016 my 18 year old said get therapy AND try to leave home and do more or she would not talk or call me at home or at college; so of 3 kids she is my favorite for closeness so did the therapy, DBT, exercise, volunteering, eating healthy, support group, reading on my illness, no drug since weight gain or rash not my thing and only pill would do it most times per doctor. I am married because my son has autism at 12; adopted as baby from South Korea at five months and needs us together even if we fight or cold too each other; he said it and we know it. Daughter 19 is in college or home summers and she does not want fighting so could not care if together or not just be phoney and not fights and just fake it. My 23 year old lives with boyfriend and works in city so not c lose with me or dad; see her once a month. My mom 94 lives two hours away and we visit by car (HE DRIVES SINCE CAN NOT DO BIG DRIVE) AND HE HELPS WITH BILLS, FOOD SHOPPING, ERRANDS FOR HER);it would hurt her and me if he was not in marriage. But it is sad the lack of affection, sex, love and real affinity to each other. I can fake it and will do the friendship stuff like date night or nice gift or try to be ok and friendly or try to not start a fight. But it is sad to live in home with a checked out type who is there for kids, my mom, his work, friends, the dog, his garden, his video games, his whisky hobby, his TV shows, but nothing much with me for love, companion, real like or real romance and commitment life like husband and wife dating, first years, with kids 1, 2 and 3 until 3 diagnosed at age 3 with autism and then his hate for me felt it since my idea third kid and adoption too since biology at 40-43 did not happen natural like other 2 kids. So that is story. I feel you and know what it is like for dog to get hug and not me. Or son to by in twin bed all night with him. Or, kids to get his affection and love. Or, he never holds my hands, hugs me if sad, says how was your day or you look pretty if I dress up or anything ..getting my body and face to looking 43 and not 53 is happening but really would not matter. He is not having affair or lust for other my feeling Just hates me and does not want the sex, affection or connection beyond money reasons and autism kid reason and easy to be married then not if I behave and act normal keeping my bipolar 2 depression and moods ok most times. Advice? NOT LEAVING; TOO OLD, LONELY, NEEDY AND SCARED TO GO; MONEY AND CARE OF SON AND MOM TOO MUCH ALONE OR DIVORCED. AND WORKING NOT NOW; PART-TIME FEW YEARS AGO AND FULL-TIME FOR 15 YEARS BEFORE SECOND CHILD AT AGE 35. THANKS.

perhaps.... stop pursuing (stop asking for change), and distance yourself and go dark, apply the 180 method. Its easy to say, move on, and thats always your call, but should you wish for a chance at change, roles need to reverse and he needs to pursue you, thats where the 180 method comes in. its your decision as to where you want to go moving forward. Neither is easy, but you're never alone. SO why do i suggest the 180, my wife was just like you, and I'm the changed man. My downfall was complacency and not knowing at the time what to do to meet her love language, nor did i even know what that meant

ok i oversimplified things, and likely i wasn't so blatantly distance as your guy, but i can draw similarities. For me I was trying, but just never really knew what to do to make her as happy as i wanted to, i tried all the wrong things. All the work for change fell on my shoulders and she withdrew. so while the 180 is one method to shake his head, theres many others which I've come to find