Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been married for 18 years now and been with my husband for 23 years total. We met each other when I was in my junior year of High School, he is only 3 years older than me. We have had wonderful times together and have 3 kids together. Everything would be great if it weren't for his anger issues. Whenever he disagrees with me, he tends to get so angry he yells, curses, throws things and even punches walls. Unfortunantly, this has been going on for many years (since we have been together). The only difference now, is me. Now that I am in my 40's I just don't want to see my future continue this way any longer nor do I want to continue putting my kids through this type of behavior. After one of our recent fights, my 8 year old asked me if I was okay and stated "daddy is a bully to you mom" That just broke my heart.
Rewind, at the very beginning of this year, we got into such a huge fight that I told him flat out to leave. He was very hurt. After we both cooled off a bit, I told him I just don't want to live like this anymore, I just can't. He was shocked and asked what he could do for me to change my mind. I suggested couples counsling, which he immidately said no to and asked what the other option was. I responded, we go our separate ways. So needless to say, he opted for counseling. The counselor told him, he has anger issues and needs to address it with out primary doctor. Our doctor gave him a prescription to help. Trust me, its been over a month and it is NOT helping at all. I am starting to believe this is just the way he is and there is no changing that. Since our recent argument (2 days ago), we have not spoken a word to each other since and honestly, I am totally okay with that. It means no screaming or yelling at the house. Its peace and quite and I love it. I can see myself, by myself and that bothers me alot. I love my husband very much and feel like perhaps I am just over reacting and possibly going through a mid-life crisis. On the otherhand, part of me feels like I am finally waking up. To compound the issues, my husband has and continues to be very insecure and jealous so I barely have any friends and my family support lives in another state.
Anyone going through this similar situation? Any words of wisdom would be truly appreciated.
Rewind, at the very beginning of this year, we got into such a huge fight that I told him flat out to leave. He was very hurt. After we both cooled off a bit, I told him I just don't want to live like this anymore, I just can't. He was shocked and asked what he could do for me to change my mind. I suggested couples counsling, which he immidately said no to and asked what the other option was. I responded, we go our separate ways. So needless to say, he opted for counseling. The counselor told him, he has anger issues and needs to address it with out primary doctor. Our doctor gave him a prescription to help. Trust me, its been over a month and it is NOT helping at all. I am starting to believe this is just the way he is and there is no changing that. Since our recent argument (2 days ago), we have not spoken a word to each other since and honestly, I am totally okay with that. It means no screaming or yelling at the house. Its peace and quite and I love it. I can see myself, by myself and that bothers me alot. I love my husband very much and feel like perhaps I am just over reacting and possibly going through a mid-life crisis. On the otherhand, part of me feels like I am finally waking up. To compound the issues, my husband has and continues to be very insecure and jealous so I barely have any friends and my family support lives in another state.
Anyone going through this similar situation? Any words of wisdom would be truly appreciated.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
We were together for 25+ yrs, but no violence or substance abuse. I truly thought we were a team and felt that not getting everything I wanted was compromising which is important. He felt that he was sacrificing. My stbx was already gone and not willing to see counselor and had replaced me with a new "best friend that just gets him" before he said anything to me. Took me a month after him telling me before I realized there was someone else. I did try for 10 month before I gave up and true reality set in that the potential with her was more important than "us" or our family.
So for what it is worth, which I don't feel me or my opinion is worth much, marriage and vows are too easily walked away from when crisis strikes. We as adults need to set a good example for our children. Good Luck to you both and your family.
Having your son tell you your husband is bullying you, is not good Your husband should be a good role model for his kids.
Something conflicting you said, makes me hesitate in offering advice as IF the anger problem was all, it would make a difference to me----- A HUGE but---- along with the anger there is insecurity and jealousy issues, to the point you have no friends. To me this is just as bad as the anger.
I honestly think you should post on the Physical and Emotional Abuse forum here on Daily Strength. There is NO, NO, doubt that the few experts that are there will say, after punching the wall------
YOU are next, because that is what abusers do.
Please don't confront him, or try and argue with him.
Please find a therapist who is TRAINED in abuse or the counseling will be for nothing.
Good luck
My husband just left our family (I have 3 kids) different circumstances, and yesterday I stupidly begged him, and told him I would give him another chance, he just has to sort his head. today I thank him for giving ME the easiest out, to become powerful again, to not have someone rule my life, and finally he will have to step up to being the father he never really has been (or not - his choice), but my children are already turning out to be wonderful boys, and I can break the cycle of my husbands side of the family (his dad walked out too, and his brother etc etc)
You can separate while he sorts his problems, and maybe there will be another chance, but give it 60 days, that's what I'm going to do, no contact, then make your final decisions. :)
Anyway, I am trying to work this out. We had a fight on Tuesday over me asking him to budget our bills so I know what to pay and he just yelled at me that he was tired and I need to understand he works 2 jobs. We have not spoken to each other since but today he texted me letting me know he was not feeling well and plans to come home and straight to bed. He will not have dinner with us again. Even though we fought, I made him his coffee and leave dinner out for him. He simply ignores it. I know he is waiting for an apology from me, but I am tired of apologizing just so things can get back to "normal." I believe he feels "sick" because I have not apologized to him yet.