I'm so sorry. I don't really have any answers but I can say church should feel like a safe haven and that should be somewhere you can turn for answers and support. Sending you warm thoughts and prayers

You do owe your daughter an explanation with reason - but you do not owe your church friends/members anything. You don't have to be mean if they ask - but right now is not the time to worry about what others need on any level - they do not need an answer to their questions. Attending church is great -if you have been going to that one for a while - I would say continue to go. It's about your personal relationship with God - it's not about what the folks there think.

If you haven't been going to that church for very long - consider going to a new one if you feel that would make you feel better.

The part about your daughter asking for her dad is just part of the process and nothing you can do but comfort her the best way you can. You are attending counseling and that's a start and will help you face your reality and sort through the mess.

People leave - people outgrow their lives - their jobs, families, etc, and there is nothing we can do but get out of their way and figure out how to move on without them.

So sorry for your pain - hope it all starts getting better for you soon.

Is he coming to see her? I am sorry this sounds devastating. As far as church just go you need it right now. Most people shouldn't keep prying if you say you are swperated of they do gently tell them you dont want to talk about unless you do. 3 is young but if he isnt around to help explain exact details aren't needed knowing she is loved no matter what is most important. If he comes around sitting together and talk to her if possible.

I too have a 3 year old daughter and my husband and I are separated. Are you a stay at home mom?

My daughter asked a lot in the beginning too. I just told her that mommy and daddy were arguing a lot so we couldn't be together right now. Is your husband gone or still in contact? We immediately came up with a visitation schedule that worked for our daughter and now she is totally adjusted to that (3 months later). My husband worked a lot anyway so he actually sees her more now than he did before with much more quality time.
It broke my heart every time the dogs would bark and she would ask if daddy was home or when she asked me why daddy didn't live with us anymore, but, it gets better. Everyone adjusts to the new normal.
The hardest part for me has been hiding my extreme grief from her. I try not to spend all day depressed and crying because I know that isn't healthy for her but it was really difficult sometimes in those first couple of months.
I'm so sorry you are going through this too. Feel free to message me if you want to talk. It does get better and you and your daughter are going to make it through this okay.

Thank you everyone for your support. He does actually come around and take her with him to his moms for a couple of days each week. I know I really need to go to church but its so difficult because my father is the pastor and everyone is just so use to see us as this one big happy family. I am just ready for all the pain to go away. I try to hide my emotions from my daughter but I guess I am not doing a very good job. last night when she saw me crying she said mommy we need to pray so you can be happy. I just feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster.

Hello,
I am in the same boat and am not sure how to proceed. Before my husband left me we were active in church. Living overseas, we are isolated and have very few outlets to have a support system. Now that he has abandoned me and our son even though we had been in marriage counseling, I can't go back. Everytime, I see church family I have to re tell the story and now I've lost my husband and my support system.