It's a struggle. One day at a time..stay off (block) ALL social media. Don't learn anything that's she's up to. Eventually you'll heal. I've been over 2 years NC now, wife of 24 years..had to be done to move forward.

Stay strong. And when you have the urge to tell her something type it then delete it.or use coping cards.you have that urge to contact but instead make some coping cards put random things down you like to do or positive quotes.so when urge hits pull a random one and occupy yourself with that.now there going be days it works going be days it doesn't.we all break down from time to time and give in.and when that day comes for you and it will don't let it disappoint you.start over.and then one day 3 weeks in you will realize it's not impossible and you are succeeding.i am still waiting on that day for myself .lol well actually not funny I just have laugh to keep from breaking .it's not going be easy but stay strong and remind yourself why you are doing this and why you chose no contact.

I'm day 3 of no contact. I know how you're feeling, my ex said we could be friends maybe, in a year, but then retracted as he said that would give me false hope. All I can say is keep going with no contact. Its like an addiction, and the urge to message them will be strong, but I'm trying to tell myself that even if I got in contact it is what he expects he expects me to beg him back, and I don't want him to think that, I find it insulting that he thinks I'm this desperate person, even if I am. You just have to hope in a month of no contact they will contact you so you can feel they care or miss you, and then hopefully when that day arrives you'll think well actually I cant do this anymore either, that's what I hope, and if he never contacts me again I'll convince myself its because he genuinely didn't think he could make me happy, your ex will miss you, they will be going through the same pain. Sometimes they need space to figure that, sometimes you need space to realise you weren't happy either and that what you're feeling now is a loss of what you hoped and had built up, not the reality of it.

I went total no contact with my ex so i could begin to heal
and detach emotionally from Him.

NC is good so you can gain some clarity and its not about
Fixing a relationship. Its about healing yourself And getting
stronger within yourself without so much attachment and
Emotion.

Detaching from your partner is not so easy when In a committed
relationship. It took me 18 months post divorce and moving to detach
from my ex so it can be a journey that takes time.

Many on here know the pain of keep trying to stay attached to some
One that does not want to be attached to us any longer. It hurts us
More the harder we keep trying to know, to contact and to find out
what they are up to and with whom.

The things you know and see, they can not be Unseen or unknown
emotionally and they will burn within you just having that knowledge.
When i see my ex's GF car at my old house i feel a knife in my chest.
Betrayal takes awhile to process and move thru to Indifference that is
my ultimate goal and something i pray for. HUGS

Thank you, kbbcoop77
I'll keep your tips in mind!

Dlf, thank you for sharing your tips! Everyday is tough but, every step is a step forward.

Sjcapri, thank you for sharing your experience. It is comforting to know that there are others, who know what it's like dealing with this deep emotional pain and discomfort. Please keep me updated on your journey!

mirandac, thank you so much for sharing your experience, it gives me hope that I can one day feel on top of the world again.

bridgie101, Thank you for your advice!

My question is if you have children together and can't fully exercise no contact how do you in a way that doesn't leave you feeling hopeless.for example I know have to talk about kids with him.and sometimes it leaves me feeling defeated because I know I have to have that contact and it makes me feel as if I'm never going be able to heal

That would be limited contact and coparenting.

Try to keep it to the business at hand only, nothing
Personal. Use email and text and talk thru the lawyer
if you need to. Try not to talk on the Phone with Him.
To me divorce is something to get thru and Endure.

The healing can began after its all over Legally unless
you have a bully and abuser then more steps are needed
thru out the whole process. HUGS

Man, everything here is hitting home for me. Wow. In addition to this I feel like a fool/idiot on my situation. But wow I'm not the only one going thru this.

Sanjuanis. Good part is we aren't alone in this. Bad part is we are all connected through horrible circumstances

I've been on this site for close to 3 years on my journey of healing, this isn't an ad lol, but there is an online guide that REALLY helped me in the early days, first year of this hell, it's called www.breakuprecoveryguide.com
It's a great site that helps you understand the emotional turmoil you are/will feel for the next months or year or possibly longer. Please know one thing..this is TEMPORARY. You WILL survive it and come out stronger in the end. I used to dread weekends, spend them in bed ruminating and agonizing about what went wrong, always certain if we could just reconcile all would be well..it was horrible. But now I love my weekends and am very comfortable being on my own. It would have to take someone pretty special for me to risk my new level of peace.. my life is a lot less stressful and my money and time are my own. There's a lot to be said about being single again and being ones own person. Good luck, you'll make it. How long were you together? So no kids involved? No kids makes NC much easier. Mine were adults and close to adult so I was able to cut her off 100%

Dlf yeah, but bad circumstances equal a more sincere friendship