I know what you mean about the dating thing. I have a hard time of it too. I don't think its you I think it was them.

To hell with it all. I am just going to give up for a while and live my life locked up in my house. I have few friends that I hang out with and I spend most of my time with family. Problem is my family is 1.5 hours away so there is litterly nothing for me in the area I live.

I don't go out to bars. Sorry, but I have arrested too many people that go there. Don't enjoy going out to social events by myself because that is boring.

Let's face it....I am damaged goods and no one will be interested in me for a long time. It is time to just shut myself in for a while and get into my cocoon so that I can come out later on all repaired and wholesome again.

Okay, throwing tantrums about this ain't gonna make it any easier.

I know, you're frustrated. And you've probably got that damn "Back in the saddle again" song blasting on your iPod:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Daz6B_YayDI

Get out. Make some friends. Go do guy stuff with your buds. But leave dating alone for a while.

I'm not trying to make your life more complicated or frustrating.

You ever bust open a bottle of Scotch, and it says "aged X years"?

That's how long it's been waiting. Until the time was right.

If you go out trying to sell your cornmash as high fallutin' whiskey, people are gonna see right through it. You gotta give it some time.

From my dating experiences after a divorce, you definitely need to keep it light and away from your ex. No girl wants to think you are still in love with an ex or that you have any hangups from that previous relationship. And while some girls do enjoy the challenge of the chase/being chased, treading lightly is always a good thing. But I'm officially divorced so my situation is a little different...

Please don't think that is what we have been trying to tell you. You sound like a kind person. Do things where you can meet people as friends. Go to outdoor concerts, have a party on your boat. Join some clubs. You will meet the person you're looking for by accident.

In my town this always get a laugh. A police officer pulled a woman over and gave her a DUI. Through the court meetings and the arrest they started to date. They are now married. It's a true story. I'm sure he regrets giving her one now with the cost of his auto insurance.

When you least expect it you will meet someone nice. Go for walks and don't be afraid to talk to people. Go play tennis. Women are always on tennis courts. Walk around your most public park. This will all work out. Keep the faith.

Heave, honestly, you might be on the right path now. It wasn't until I said, "Fuck this!" that I started having more success with women.

Before that, I was dating with a purpose. I was going to show my stbx that I didn't need her, and I was going to prove to myself that women still wanted me. And I had the stink of desperation all over me.

At some point, I took a look at myself and said, "What the fuck are you doing?" And I quit trying to impress people and pick up on women. And the strange thing is, as soon as I started doing that, I met more women and more women have been interested.

Women are like predators in the wild. They can smell fear and desperation, man.

With an angry approach...you will not succeed in dating. You have to regroup and deal with the stuff that is frustrating you. Don't try to hard in the dating scene. Let it come to you naturally. Just relax and don't be mad or have the all or nothing attitude. Its not necessary, nor is it healthy for you. Take your time, if you are not dating right now. Do things to improve your life in the meantime. Be positive, be constructive..Not destructive!

Just think.....

You have the advantage of pulling over your next wife....Who Knows......

Good Luck

I don't know how long it's been since you & your ex parted ways, but my suggestion is to just date casually for now. Don't expect too much, keep things fun & at worst, you'll just add another friend to your life.