Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
As I posted a few days ago, my girlfriend of 4 years had cheated on me, she finally admitted to me that she did it out of convenience, that because I lived in a different city that she needed to feel close affection. She claims that she went on two dates with the guy (just out for lunch) and that nothing physical had happened. While I believe that is true, I feel conflicted about what she is telling me now.
She says that she made a major mistake and wants to try and work on it with me, and that it would never happen again. I just don’t know how I feel about all of it. This had never happened before to me and she never cheated before (I contacted her ex’s)
the thing is we will be living distanced from each other till we could make enough money to move out which wouldn’t be for another year or two.
Idk whether to move on, or to give her the benefit of the doubt. I am very hesitant to jump back in emotionally with her for this to happen again, but on the flip side if it truly was a mistake, shouldn’t people be given second chances?
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What does that mean, you contacted her ex's? Asked them if she has ever cheated on them?
I never had an issue with distance, she has the issue with it but you’re right all I will do is wonder about her
“shouldn’t people be given second chances?” It depends largely on what you can take. Here are your options, in my opinion.
First, if she really never cheated before, then maybe you hit gold here. Some women in her situation would have already done it. If it was just a date, and she gave in to temptation because of her “needing to feel close affection,” then take it as a good sign that though nothing devastating has happened yet it drilled home a real need that you should meet. Two hours is not hard to do. Many people drive two hours away from work, you just need to get used to it. Once during the work week and then on weekends. Relationships require a lot of work and you have to fight for her if you really love her.
Your other choice is, as you have stated, “to move on … because you are hesitant to jump back in emotionally with her.” This is very reasonable, after all you have to think about yourself. You can give up and find someone closer to where you live. But what are the chances of finding someone like her?
If she does this again, then I would say move on but, I believe she deserves another chance. I wish you both the very best and hope reconciliation can be made that makes you both happy.