Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Catch 22

Rman
Rman
For my life, it's a no win situation...
I finally realize that people in a relationship, wait for the other to act, in order for them to act. The problem is that the other person in the relationship also feels this way. Then there is a standoff...
Then nothing happens...
If I'm not making sense, then it is because I don't make sense, usually...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not to disappoint you, but you make perfect sense.
deleted_user
deleted_user
G'night rman
deleted_user
deleted_user
"Then nothing happens... "

......or someone gets dumped.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It makes sense, been seperated for a year and a half now. Took a major event for me to file. Now its taking a lot to get me to go sign.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with you and you do make perfect sense.
MsViv
MsViv
Well what if one person in the relationship is doing it all. Then what happens. Is it that it all gets done the one way and one person isn't happy?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I believe you to be a pretty fart smeller...I mean...a pretty SMART FELLER, Rman. Makes perfect sense to me. Hugs to ya!
JennyMe
JennyMe
make a move
deleted_user
deleted_user
i've seen this happen in alot of relationships. Example : the couple can't pick a place to eat.

It seems so simple but the undesiciveness takes over and nobody will pick one.

I sugest you read about undesisiveness. if you can't find any books on it. then read leadership books, one big rule of being a leader is you have to make decisions bad or good they have to be made.
Rman
Rman
SoldierSlim...very interesting and useful reply...
I think my issue stems from the sex, or lack thereof...
She would wait for me to perform a miracle before she gave it up...
I would wait for her to give it up before I performed a miracle...
just a stupid example, but it's what I'm talking about in this post...
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you realize this then.. you have the knowledge and power to act?
Rman
Rman
Very true, NC4me, but when you act, you make yourself vulnerable...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ahh true...but then you'll also know that you gave it your all.. =No regrets. right?
Rman
Rman
That works for me...
The problem arises, when the other person doesn't feel the same way...
Then you feel like a sucker...even though you gave it your all...
deleted_user
deleted_user
True, there is a vulnerability in taking action, but without action there can be no change. I guess, my question would be would you rather stay in Catch22 Limbo or produce a change? Yes, the change could go either way and I do not know your story, but would that be better than what you are feeling now? I 'existed' thru each day for many years, but I didn't really LIVE them. Once change happened for me, and it did go the wrong way (at the time), it led to my finally grabbing ahold of life, instead of enduring it. Hugs to you, Rman, and I am sorry I picked on you....:)