I am going through the same thing. My husband left about a month ago. I fight myself each and every day on contacting him. To be honest, I haven't lasted more than 4 days. I too am lonely. I miss him simply being in the house with me. And night time - forget about it!! I have cried myself to sleep practically every night since he has been gone.

I know that the best thing to do is to cut off contact. Each time I talk to him he reminds me that he is "over it". I've been with him 10 years and I'm reduced to "it". He does say that he misses me sometimes and that he still has love for me although he is no longer "in love" with me. I think he just says that to be nice? Or keep me as a safety net in case he changes his mind.

Everyone tells me to give him time to miss me by cutting off contact. I think they are right even though I have found this incredibly difficult to carry out. If you think about it 2 things could result from cutting off contact. First, he could realize that he misses you and will contact you. Or, it cuts ties and allows you (and I) to move on with our lives. It's so so hard!!!

I have to admit that I called my husband this morning. I want to hear him say that he loves me, misses me and wants to come home. I want him to show up in front of my work building with flowers and ask me if he can come home. I want to walk through the door one night and see him sitting there waiting for me. Can you tell I have watched one too many romantic comedies?!! But none of that is likely to happen. Instead, he confirmed that he still wants a divorce. And it was hurtful. Why do we put ourselves through that? I promised myself that tomorrow is a new day and I WILL NOT contact him. One day at a time, right?

it is tough. sometimes i miss different things; someone to talk to at the end of the day, future hopes and dreams, the loss of her family, the love we once shared. Yet I tell myself, who she is today is not what I miss, its the memories we made. Its especially tough at times knowing what I know now and can't turn back the clock, yet I don't know if it would have mattered

I feel the same way. It's really hard when you feel very lonely. I broke 4 weeks of no contact today in a moment of weakness I texted him. I shouldn't have, but I did. I told him I missed him and asked how he was doing then called my bestie to confess. I felt bad that I broke NC because what was it really going to do? What was I trying to get? I went NC for a reason 4 weeks ago, because it's too hard to be friends right now. That hearing his voice or reading his texts allowed me to feel better for a small time, but it really made me feel worse in the long run.

I wish I had advice, because I could use it too! I guess the best course of action is really try to stay strong. Have a friend that can hold you accountable and do your best to stay busy. Be with friends and family members. I joined a few new groups on Meetup.com to try to meet new folks and keep busy. It's helping.

Pick up new hobbies or read a book. Anything to keep yourself busy. Come here and connect frequently. Know you are not alone and we are all just doing our best. Good luck!

-TM

it really is a process, a journey longer than we would all like it to be, but one i am convinced we will be stronger having gone through. we aren't alone and have each other to share our struggles and successes with. I post mine in journals while others choose posts. Im always here to listen - just one message away. If you haven't had the chance, by all means have a look at my journals where i note my findings

I "driveby" and saw how happy he is now. He doesnt care about me, he hates the sight of me.

So it seems most of us are on the same page here regarding this topic. It's hard! You miss someone being there. The loneliness builds up. I can't tell you the number of times I wanted to text him because something funny happened or I instinctually wanted to vent to him about work (today that almost happened). I would get so far as to grab my phone and unlock it before realizing that I can't do that anymore. We were each other's best friend and I know that is why he felt he could still talk to me and confide in me or ask advice. But he told me he loves her and will be with her when she leaves her bf. That there is no hope of us possibly reconciling. So that is why we stopped talking this time. But it's all the habits and memories...plus loneliness that gets me. :(

im in the same boat i know my ex left because she wasnt happy with herself witch makes it hard because im not sure what i could have done differently then again maybe i could have did more idk but i am finding myself tempted to text every night or look back at old photos i know i have to be strong it just gets so hard when everyday i need to make decisions that im use to making together

Same here. He was the only person (other than my parents obviously) that I've ever lived with. I moved out and into our first place with him. Then I got our first house with him. It was supposed to be our home we had a future in and now I'm in it alone wondering what to do with myself. And then today at work I get told I'm getting a pay cut and all I wanted to do was text him out of habit.

im sorry to hear about the paycut i understand the future part still am trying to figure out where my future is now and everytime i try to think about it i just remember the plans we had . it seems as though i can just plan day by day now sometimes just hour by hour depending on the day

im honestly not sure why ppl leave a good thing or how they can commit so much and just turn away from it lile it never happened

Everyone posting on this thread take a deep breath. This is all normal. I blocked/unblocked, broke NC more times I could remember, spent weekends in bed checking my phone etc etc...I can tell you it GETS BETTER. But you really have to stick with NC. Eventually with them out of your life you will detach. Then you realize if they came crawling back you would say absolutely not. Believe me you don't want someone who dumped you once before!! You just can't go back to how it was, I suppose with therapy and counseling it might be possible but doubtful, and the truth is it's too late for that they already left. If they were interested in saving the relationship they'd be there. Anyways I'm well over 2+ years complete no contact. This was a 24 year marriage that I got cheated on and dumped. So if I can survive so can you!! Just hang in there..!

I read your post too late. I sent him a msg saying i miss him. (First in the last 3months). He went straight to the boss. Im starting to think he never really cared about me.

See, my ex is different. I have seen him since the break up and he acts like nothing happened. Has kissed me out of nowhere and then when I ask him about it, he says that when he's with me he feels like hes "with" me, but knows we aren't together. He told me that its not going to go anywhere anyway because he "loves" this other girl (who still is in another relationship and told him she wouldn't pursue anything with him till he moves back to town). It just makes me feel worse. We were together a long time, never broke up despite the issues we went though, but then the one time we break up he moves on immediately. This is why we agreed to stop talking again because he said this is "killing" me and he doesn't like it and knows that he's always going to want to pursue something with this other person.

Im sorry. But he does seem to be manipulative. I tried to break off with my ex and he acted the same. Its because he hasnt got enough of the controlling. For me, he won me back and finally discarded me like trash. Thats when he totally ignores.

Yes just found out my husband was cheating six months and I'm still texting him, I feel pathetic but I think it's just the procesd.